Tuesday, May 12, 2009

It's days like these....

...that make me realize how blessed I am, how far we have come, how special Bethanie truly is, and what a miracle we experienced.

A couple weeks ago this little girl, Maddie, passed away suddenly from what I believe was a respiratory infection. Maddie was a preemie, born 11 weeks early. At 17 months old she was catching up and thriving, but because of her lungs still being weak due to being born so early, her little body could not handle this respiratory illness.

Then just this week, I read of this little girl, Kayleigh. Kayleigh was also a preemie, born 12 weeks early (Due to Preeclampsia, the same as my self). She was 11 months old, she went through 7 major surgeries and had never been able to go home. This week she lost her hard fought battle and passed away.

My Bethanie, as most of you probably remember, was also a preemie. She was born 13 weeks early (she was earlier than either of the 2 babies I just mentioned) and weighed 1 pound 12 ounces.






She spent 84 days in the NICU. Of those 84 days we eagerly waited 21 days before we got to hold her for the first time....


It took 5 long weeks before she could successfully be weaned off the ventilator....




She came home still requiring oxygen....






Then finally 1 month after bringing her home, we got to see her beautiful little face with no tubes or wires attached....



We had been warned of how serious it could be if she were to catch a cold or something worse, so for the first 5 months of being home, we kept her isolated in hopes of keeping her free of any illnesses. It was SUCCESSFUL! We took her out for the first time (to anywhere other than the doctor) at 8 months, she got to go to church on her first Easter. She did not get sick for the first time till she was 18 months old and that was a stomach virus, which resulted in her getting badly dehydrated. That has thankfully been her one and only return stay in the hospital. From then on she thrived....

Her first birthday....she weighed a hefty 13 pounds then!



Her second birthday....looking much more like a 1 year old, she was now up to 18 pounds.



Then her third...


Fourth....


Fifth...she was now up to 31 pounds and had just started school.



6th....



Seven.....



Eighth....



and here we are today....




A VERY smart, loving, beautiful little girl who now weighs 48 pounds who I love with all my heart and am more proud of than words can ever say. She has overcome so much and for that I am eternally thankful to the Lord above for letting her survive and giving me the privilege of being her mom. I Love you Bethanie Ann!!!!! XOXOXOX



(Mother's Day 2009 Alyvia, Bailey (my nieces), Bethanie, and Elianna)



I don't, and probably never will, know why Bethanie is so perfect and alive and these other families had to give their babies back to our Heavenly Father but I do know that I will hug and cherish my girls even more knowing what could have been. My heart and prayers go out to the 2 families who have lost their precious little girls. I can not even begin to imagine the pain they are going through.



One more thing I need to share...When I was dismissed from the hospital after having Bethanie. Matt and I went to Kroger's to get my prescriptions filled before going home. As we went through the card section, I noticed an Anne Geddie's card with this picture

I had a feeling of peace when I saw it, it's hard to explain, but I knew I had to get it. I felt like God wanted me to see that picture as if He was telling me "She's going to be fine, I'm holding her in my hands". My MIL took that card and had it framed for me and it still to this day hangs in my bedroom.

Recently my girls have discovered a little picture album that I had made for Bethanie when she was a baby, to keep in the diaper bag to take with us when we would be out. In it I have a few pictures of Bethanie when she was in the NICU. One of those pictures she is wearing a dress that was REALLY tiny and my girls now use it for a doll dress. I think Elianna (who is only 4) has realized, to a point, that Bethanie was really tiny as a baby. Tonight she was getting ready for bed in my room and she yelled for me to come in there. When I walked in the room, she pointed to that Anne Gedde's picture and asked me if it was Bethanie when she was a baby. I told her no and then about how I had gotten it when Bethanie was still in the hospital and how it made me think that God was holding Bethanie in his hands. She got such a peaceful, happy smile on her face, tipped her head to the side and nodded almost like "Yea, you are right mom".

2 comments:

Lori said...

Wow, I knew she was early..but that really puts it into perspective. I'm sure it gives you all sorts of feelings as to how she was earlier than both of those little girls but still faired better. My heart is just broken over both of the losses. Sending you many ((((hugs)))). I'm sure you've played over and over how it could have been Bethanie. I'm so glad that she is healthy!!

Lowcountry Mom said...

((((((((hugs)))))))) Sarah, I think I could have written your post word for word. Those pics of Bethanie through the years are both beautiful and amazing. I don't know either, like you, why our tiny miracles made it when so many others do not. But yep, we just have to hug them a bit tighter when we hear these sad stories about the babies who went to Heaven way before their time. :(

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