Friday, November 28, 2008

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hope you all had a WONDERFUL day!!! We really, REALLY did, I have really enjoyed today.

Every year Thanksgiving is exhausting for us. All our family lives within 40 minutes of us and all expect us to come for dinner on Thanksgiving. Every year I kind of dread it, wishing there was some way to get around it but never finding a way. This year I was hoping my mom could do it on a different day. But then her DH's two kids made plans to come to town Thanksgiving evening, they wanted us all together, so we agreed. Our plans were Dinner at MIL sometime between 1 and 2. Mamaw's (my dad's mom's where my dad and other aunts, uncles, and cousins would be) at 5pm but had planned to arrive early to spend some time with them. Then off to mom's for dinner at 7. From the time all arrangments were made, I secretly dreaded it. I just don't enjoy the rushing, eating and leaving, on the road traveling from place to place all day. Then around Tuesday it came to me, Thanks to God, HOW BLESSED AM I!!! I have family living close and lots of it, they all love us enough that they WANT us to come over for dinner! We get to eat 3 wonderful meals in one day. I have a good vehicle to get us safely from one place to the other. I shouldn't dread it or get frustrated, I should just be Thankful, very, very THANKFUL. And so I decided from that point on I would be Thankful AND I would enjoy the day to it's fullest. And I did. Yes, I am exhausted (Thanks to the Pepsi I am not sleeping yet though) and STUFFED but I did not feel stressed or even rushed today, I just felt loved and very very THANKFUL for all the Lord has given us. All the food was great and the time with all the family was wonderful. The girls were one their absolute best behaviour and had lots of fun.


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Another great song!!

My mom sent me this one in an email! Thanks Mom!!

In God We Still Trust by Diamond Rio. I went to a free Diamond Rio concert MANY years ago but haven't regularly listened to Country Music for quite a while even though I still like it. Enjoy this one, it's Great!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

I LOVE this song!

No school today for either of the girls due to icey rain last night/early morning. Four kids here all day, Bethanie has been drawing and doing math problems (I think she is missing school but would never admitt to it), Elianna and Alyvia are playing nicely together (hope it continues), and the baby is sleeping. I decided to do some surfing (you know since the house is all sparkly clean, with no dirty clothes or anything, HAHAHAH) and ran across this song from Faith Hill. WOW! I have never posted a video before so hope it works. Enjoy!

WooHoo!!! Had to go to the help link but I figured it out!!!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

You're going to miss this

This week I thought I would write about something I already miss. Actually I hadn't really thought about it until lately and since then I have really been missing it. It's how simple life use to be. When I got married and even when I became pregnant with Bethanie, I was a full time college student and I worked full time as a manager at a fast food resturaunt, I was always on the go doing something. Then my pregnancy took a turn for the worse. Over the summer things continued to go down hill with my pregnancy and I ended up having Bethanie by emergency c-section at 27 weeks (13 weeks early) because of Preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. She was born weighing 1 pound 12 ounces and only 12 1/2 inches long at a hospital 90+ minutes from our home. The next 3 months we lived at the Ronald McDonald house so we could be with her. Life was pretty simple at that time. We were staying in a house with 9-11 other families who were complete strangers but some became friends over time. There were only 2 tvs in the entire house, we didn't have one in our room. So we spent our days visiting Bethanie in the NICU during visiting hours, and during non visiting hours we would eat meals, sit on the lovely porch swing, take naps, make phone calls to update family (calls were limited though to 10 minutes), and I would pump. We went home a total of 2 times during her whole NICU stay. We had so many people help us out it was amazing. It was stressful though because as anyone who has went through an NICU stay knows it's a roller coaster ride with many up and downs, 1 step forward then 2 steps back the next day. When she would have good days, life was great, but on her bad days I would sit and cry. Finally after 85 days, 8 years ago this Wednesday to be exact, at 4 pounds even, we were finally able to bring her home. She came home on Oxygen through nasal canula and many medicines. We were also warned to keep her away from crowds, kids, or anyone who was or had been sick because if she were to get sick she would end up back in the hospital or even worse. It was decided then that I would HAVE to stay home with her. So at the moment we brought her home I officially became a Stay-at-home-mom, and I LOVED it!! My days were spent completely centered around her. I woke for the day when she woke up, I could nap if I was tired when she took a nap. At first it was a little stressful simply because I was completely in control of her care, and there was no nurse near by like there was in the NICU. But as time went on I grew more confident and she grew stronger, the oxygen was no longer required, and eventually she didn't even need meds anymore. Surprisingly she was VERY healthy. I spent my days holding her, singing and reading to her, and just enjoying the calmness that had become my life. After RSV season was over (mid April) I was able to take her out. We started off slowly but by summer we went anywhere and everywhere. Life was fun and simple. I so enjoyed that time with her. Then I became pregnant with Elianna, I am not real sure when exactly life quit being so easy and simple. It may have started when Elianna was born (full term 8 pounds 1 ounce by the way), I had the perfect pregnancy and family got to be there when she was born but shortly after being born her true personality started showing through, she cried ALOT, she wanted to nurse CONSTANTLY. Life was a bit harder, but I expected that, many people had warned me 2 kids is much harder then 1. But just as she started getting easier, Bethanie started Pre-k and I started babysitting for my cousin's little girl who is 2 months older than Elianna. Suddenly our go with the flow life style had come to an abrubt hult. Now we had to be on a strict schedule for the first time ever. Then my sister had her first baby and I agreed to babysit her as well. Then a friend needed a sitter for her 2 kids...I volunteered. At first it was fun, but man was I busy ALL THE TIME. Now here we are today, life is anything but simple getting 2 kids up and ready for school, having to drive one everyday both ways 15 minutes each way, plus babysitting. Then after school activities, and homework, then cooking dinner, and trying to keep the house from becoming a disaster zone. Now with just over a month left before I start back to college, and Elianna starts going full time to preschool, I often wonder how crazy it's going to be. But this weekend, other than going to church today, we had a "do nothing" weekend. That is rare for us these days but man it was nice. And it just made me remember how much I miss those SIMPLE DAYS of just being a SAHM.

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Thursday, November 20, 2008

I am ashamed of myself!

This evening I threw a complete temper tantrum. I was not proud of it but I was so completely beyond frustrated with the old Frog, aka my DH, and that stupid World of War Craft game. Tonight was the Christmas parade in town. My Girl Scout troop decided to take part in it so I had to be at the meeting place by 5. So I am trying to get ready. I needed to find Bethanie and I some Christmas hats to wear so I needed to get up in the attic to get into the Christmas decorations. I get the baby to sleep (my sister's baby who I babysit for) but as soon as I go to lay her down she wakes up. So I let her play, ask DH to watch her and head to the bedroom. She starts fussing, I yell into to him asking if he could please deal with her so I can finish getting our stuff together. She continues to cry. Finally I get mad and go get her. I sit down and try to get her to go to sleep again. She did but again she woke up as soon as I layed her down. This time I put her in the swing in hopes that she would go back to sleep. She started fussing when she saw me come back into the room to get something. I again ask him to deal with her so I can finish getting ready. Then she starts crying, a minute or so goes by and he's not responding to her, a few more minutes and she is still crying he's still too busy playing that game. Finally I go in there, grab her out of the swing and tell him "This is the reason I always leave here on Thursdays furious at you." In a not so nice tone. He screamed at me (I couldn't tell you the last time we actually fought, especially in front of the kids but tonight I just couldn't take it anymore.) Told me it was my fault she was fussing because I had come into the room. Why she was fussing wasn't even the point it was that he wasn't helping me at all as usual! So I take her in the room with me, get my clothes changed, get the girls all ready, then I take her back into the living room with him so I can make the hot chocolate for the GS after the parade. I told the girls to get their shoes and coats on. Elianna starts crying because she can't find her shoes, The baby is crying again because she is just tired and wanting to be held. I finally just joined in with them and started crying too because there he still sat playing that game. I get so mad I yell at Elianna (which didn't help matters because it just made me feel even worse), start throwing stuff looking for Elianna's shoes, slam the door a few times, kick something out of my way on the floor. Finally, he helped...he got one of the girls coats down on the coat rack for them....I was in shock that his behind was off the couch! I finally finish getting our stuff together and take the kids to hook them in the van. I had forgotten my coat so I go back in the house, I told him I appreciate the little that he did do to help me but wished it didn't take me throwing a temper tantrum to get him to finally do it. Then I told him I despised that game and that I completely hated it ( I do not use "hate" often, I am trying to get Elianna to think of it as a bad word because I don't like hearing it come out of her mouth so I have been very careful not to say it lately). Then I left, got in the van and cried over half the way to the parade because I was so ashamed of how I acted in front of my girls. I told them I was really sorry, we went to the parade and we had a good time. After the parade we go out to eat. We finally got home at almost 9:30 and guess what the old frog was doing???? You guessed it.....still playing that game!!

I think the old frog has a very addictive personality. He gets hooked on something and it becomes the most important thing to him. Right now that thing is his game. I know I should be thankful that it is only his game, I know there are a lot worse things in this world to be addicted to that could easily tear our family apart. But I do really hate that game. This is how things go almost EVERY night. He gets home from work around 3:30, comes in takes off his coat, gets him something to drink, takes his boots and socks off. Then he takes his pants off and spends the evening in his boxers. Then he sits down on the couch, grabs his laptop, puts on his earphones and starts playing. He does NOTHING else the rest of the evening 'cept sit on the couch and play that game until it's time for him to go to bed. He turns it off and goes to bed, seriously no more than 5 minutes between the time the game is off and he is asleep. Any time I try to talk to him I usually end up saying something to him 2 or 3 times before he finally hears me. If I really need him for something, I have to wait till he is at a stopping point. Yet he doesn't understand why I get so frustrated at him. I believe he got that game back in April, maybe May and everyday but 2 has been just like I explained above. One was because the games server was down, can you say grouch city for him that night. The other night was because he had worked 16 hours that day, he came home and went right to bed. On the rare chance that he gets a day off, he is up for less than 5 minutes before he is right back at playing it. He is missing out on SO much yet I just can't get that through to him. Sometimes I wonder just how much longer I can take it. I have considered "accidentally" falling with a huge glass of something, spilling it right on his laptop. Or taking the thing and throwing it outside while he is at work. But I know all those things will just make things even worse.

Please, if you will, say a prayer for us, for our marriage, for him that he will open his eyes and see all that he is missing, and for me that I can make it through this. If you're still here reading this, THANK YOU for letting me pour my frustrations out on you.

Monday, November 17, 2008

Everybody wants to be a doughnut...

or a hot dog...

or a fork.....

Not sure where this came from but this is what Elianna was singing on her way to school today, lol. And let me tell you it was cracking her up even more than it was me ;D

Old pictures but the best ones I could find in a hury for portraying her silly faces.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

You're going to miss this....

Today as I am working hard to get the dining room/living room cleaned (making room for the Chirstmas Tree, yipee!!) the girls are suppose to be in their room cleaning it up. I really don't like making them clean their room because it always gets so messy and them cleaning it always results in them fighting and me yelling at them way to much. Today has not been much different although I have decided I am not going to yell, I have made it clear to them that if they don't get it cleaned today we will not be able to get the Christmas tree out of the attic (the entrance to the attic is in their closet), the next 3 weekends we have plans so if we don't do the tree tomorrow it won't get done for several weeks. Does it help....well of course not, lol. They get workind really hard for a few minutes after I remind them, then they go right back to playing or fighting because Elianna won't help. But as I was putting more clothes into the washer all I could hear coming from the room was laughter, both of them laughing so hard. UUGHHHH, I got frustrated, why won't they keep on task and get the darn room cleaned up, but then....I got a huge smile on my face and tear in my eye...Oh, someday I KNOW I am really, REALLY going to miss that laughter coming from their room. Now back to work for me, after all I probably am going to have a little girls bedroom to clean when I am done with the living/dining room :)

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veteran's Day

To all Veteran's, whether you actually served or were the spouse or parent who supported those serving this country... THANK YOU!!!

At Bethanie's school each year they have a big Veteran's Day assembly. I had never been to it till this year. This year my Girl Scout troop got to participate. They, along with all the other scouts in the school, got to help with the flags. I was so proud watching her, wearing her GS uniform for the first time, walk in right along side a boy caring a flag. All the scouts had a look of such pride to be able to help with such an important assembly. This assembly turned out to be much, MUCH more than I ever thought it would be. After the scouts brought the flags in and put them in their proper stands, every one attending stood and re-sighted the Pledge Allegiance to the Flag. Hearing all those voices, the children's echoing above the adults, in unison saying the pledge made my heart swell and brought tears to my eyes. A little later in the program, an invocation was given by a boy in 5th grade. The words he spoke to God were be coming from a 5th grader at a PUBLIC was just wonderful to hear! I went to high school with both his mom and dad, I can only imagine the immense pride they felt hearing him lead this whole gymnasium full of people in such an eloquent prayer. Then they honored the veterans that had been invited. Through out the program the 5th grade chorus performed 3-4 songs about America including the National Anthem. I was very pleasantly surprised at how great they sounded, it did not sound like a group of 10-11 year olds, they really sounded VERY good. Toward the end, they played a slide show of some of the students reading thank you notes that they had written with pictures of MANY veterans from our area, included in those pictures were my papaw "Popsie", one of my uncles, a cousin, and a cousin-in-law. My eyes feeled up with tears when I saw Popsie's picture pop on the screen, I could just picture him being there (he passed away in 2002), his eyes filled with tears, and the pride that would have been flooding his heart. I am so glad I went today, I was VERY impressed that an elementary school could put on such a great assembly honoring those who served this great country. And I was even more impressed by ALL 800+ students from grades preschool to 5th and how well behaved they were through the 90 minute program.
And Again....Thank You Veterans and those still serving!!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

You're Going to Miss This....Moment

Can you believe it 2 posts from me in one night!! A few weeks ago I ran across this blog called You're Going To Miss This...Moment I have really been enjoying reading her once a week Blog Carnival by the same name as her blog. It has caused me to many many times since finding it think to myself...I'm really going to miss it when.... or when something reminds me of the past to think...I reall miss.... So although I have thought up posts for weeks now that I could share on her carnival, I decided this week I WILL do it, then my internet wouldn't work last night so I am a day late but anyway.......

Two things this week have reminded me of things I am going to miss. In general I am going to miss my girls being toddlers. I don't plan to have anymore children so I will most likely never be a MOM to a toddler ever again and that makes me sad. This weeks reminders are one thing I miss the most, the things they use to say.

The other day I was looking for something in my jewlery box and found a necklace that Bethanie had gotten out of a bubble gum machine when she was about 2. It's a silver necklace that says Hottie. Now normally, I would have just threw it away, IMO no 2 year old should be considered a Hottie or even know what that word means BUT for Bethanie, it was perfect. See, at that time, Bethanie had a fasination with horses. She couldn't say horse though and her word for them was Hotties, lol. When she got that necklace and I told her what it said, she was so excited! I didn't let her wear into public but the whole family got a big kick out it. Finding that necklace brought back that memory.

This picture is of Bethanie right after her second birthday. Yes, it was her SECOND birthday, she didn't have much hair yet and was really small, she still didn't even weigh 20 pounds yet.

Bethanie was probably about 3 in this picture but I just had to share it too. When I was searching for that rocking horse picture I found this one. It reminded me of how much she LOVED that toy snake and those snow boots (notice she doesn't have a coat on and the grass is really green so it couldn't have been winter, lol). The snake she got when we went to a little farm festival. They had a booth set up selling all kinds of home made beanie baby animals. I let Bethanie pick out which ever one she wanted, they had a ton of animals in all kinds of bright colors...Bethanie picked that snake and you can't tell by the picture but it was shiney gray and black on the front side. She would even sleep with that silly snake, she LOVED it.

Now on to Elianna...the memory that came to me about things she use to say came when the lady bugs came back last week. When she was 2 (that was just last year but seems SO long ago) she use to call lady bugs...Teddy Bugs, lol. It got to the point that we ALL called them that. She had a love/hate relationship with those stinking teddy bugs. Late fall every year we get them really bad, and they like to get into our bathroom. Elianna loved to let them crawl on her and she would sit and watch them crawl around for long periods of time BUT if one would fly, she would freak out, I mean start histarically crying TEDDY BUGS GET ME. But as soon as they would land...she would be right back to loving them again. Now she seems to just ignore them.

Look at those dimples and chubby cheeks!!

Here she is feeding her baby pig, and oh yea...that's a piggy BANK, lol. I will definitely miss it if she ever quits being such a mommier. Thankfully she still feeds all her babies, only now she breast feeds them instead of sharing her sippy cups, lol.

Oh, I just miss them being little! But we have alot of fun at the ages they are now as well, I just wish they wouldn't grow up SO fast!!!!

I can't seem to get the little You're Going To Miss This Moment button to post on here, it may have to do with my mouse acting up. When I click on something it's like I click twice instead of once. Am I doing it right...I right click on the button on her blog, click copy, then come to my post, right click again and click paste. Will someone please tell me if I am doing it wrong? Thanks for doing this carnival Pam, I really enjoy it and it reminds me to enjoy the moments we are in now :)

Three months?!?!? And my personal goal for the month

Wow I can not believe it has been that long since I have posted on my blog! Things are just really busy around here. I haven't been babysitting as much (I have felt SO less stressed, it's been really nice) I have my 2 nieces, ages 2 1/2 and 9 months, everyday. Then I have one other little girl every now and then. I have only had her 1 time in the past 2 weeks but usually it's a little more than that. Bethanie and Elianna are both in school...Bethanie in second grade and doing great! Elianna in preschool and really loving it. I have to take her everyday then go back and pick her up about 2 1/2 hours later...15 minute trip each way. The baby naps both trips so then she is awake almost the whole time when we are at the house, so I get very little done. After the kids leave for the day, we get homework done, cook dinner, bathes, reading, and most of the time, the day is over! After the girls are in bed, I am usually SO tired, I do a little around the house, do some reading online, and then I hit the sack only to get back up the next day and do it all over again...but I wouldn't have it any other way. Last month we finished up soccer, both Bethanie and Elianna played for the first time, on seperate teams. That sure kept me hopping. Oh, and I forgot to mention trying to get all the "details" worked out for going back to school, making a million phone calls, filling out a bunch of paper work for finacial aid (student loans), and just trying to get things figured out. That scares me to death but I am beyond excited to get back.

Now for my real reason for posting~my personal goals for November. Since I will be quiting babysitting when I start back to school in January and we will be paying more for Elianna to go full days to preschool (most likely depending on my classes), things will be a bit tight so to help get us ready for it, I am planning to make all the Christmas gifts we give this year (other than the girls, they want bunk beds and I don't think I could make those and feel safe about them, lol). So my goal is to work on some craft project each evening, get the things I have already promised done first then get the gifts started. I am excited, I just hope all the ideas I have in my head come out as nicely as I have invisioned. Then I will try (really hard) to post pictures here of all that I got done for the week. So help me out...If next monday comes and I haven't posted ask keep me accountable for my goals! Thanks! Now I am off to make another post for tonight.

My princess slideshow