Sunday, November 23, 2008

You're going to miss this

This week I thought I would write about something I already miss. Actually I hadn't really thought about it until lately and since then I have really been missing it. It's how simple life use to be. When I got married and even when I became pregnant with Bethanie, I was a full time college student and I worked full time as a manager at a fast food resturaunt, I was always on the go doing something. Then my pregnancy took a turn for the worse. Over the summer things continued to go down hill with my pregnancy and I ended up having Bethanie by emergency c-section at 27 weeks (13 weeks early) because of Preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. She was born weighing 1 pound 12 ounces and only 12 1/2 inches long at a hospital 90+ minutes from our home. The next 3 months we lived at the Ronald McDonald house so we could be with her. Life was pretty simple at that time. We were staying in a house with 9-11 other families who were complete strangers but some became friends over time. There were only 2 tvs in the entire house, we didn't have one in our room. So we spent our days visiting Bethanie in the NICU during visiting hours, and during non visiting hours we would eat meals, sit on the lovely porch swing, take naps, make phone calls to update family (calls were limited though to 10 minutes), and I would pump. We went home a total of 2 times during her whole NICU stay. We had so many people help us out it was amazing. It was stressful though because as anyone who has went through an NICU stay knows it's a roller coaster ride with many up and downs, 1 step forward then 2 steps back the next day. When she would have good days, life was great, but on her bad days I would sit and cry. Finally after 85 days, 8 years ago this Wednesday to be exact, at 4 pounds even, we were finally able to bring her home. She came home on Oxygen through nasal canula and many medicines. We were also warned to keep her away from crowds, kids, or anyone who was or had been sick because if she were to get sick she would end up back in the hospital or even worse. It was decided then that I would HAVE to stay home with her. So at the moment we brought her home I officially became a Stay-at-home-mom, and I LOVED it!! My days were spent completely centered around her. I woke for the day when she woke up, I could nap if I was tired when she took a nap. At first it was a little stressful simply because I was completely in control of her care, and there was no nurse near by like there was in the NICU. But as time went on I grew more confident and she grew stronger, the oxygen was no longer required, and eventually she didn't even need meds anymore. Surprisingly she was VERY healthy. I spent my days holding her, singing and reading to her, and just enjoying the calmness that had become my life. After RSV season was over (mid April) I was able to take her out. We started off slowly but by summer we went anywhere and everywhere. Life was fun and simple. I so enjoyed that time with her. Then I became pregnant with Elianna, I am not real sure when exactly life quit being so easy and simple. It may have started when Elianna was born (full term 8 pounds 1 ounce by the way), I had the perfect pregnancy and family got to be there when she was born but shortly after being born her true personality started showing through, she cried ALOT, she wanted to nurse CONSTANTLY. Life was a bit harder, but I expected that, many people had warned me 2 kids is much harder then 1. But just as she started getting easier, Bethanie started Pre-k and I started babysitting for my cousin's little girl who is 2 months older than Elianna. Suddenly our go with the flow life style had come to an abrubt hult. Now we had to be on a strict schedule for the first time ever. Then my sister had her first baby and I agreed to babysit her as well. Then a friend needed a sitter for her 2 kids...I volunteered. At first it was fun, but man was I busy ALL THE TIME. Now here we are today, life is anything but simple getting 2 kids up and ready for school, having to drive one everyday both ways 15 minutes each way, plus babysitting. Then after school activities, and homework, then cooking dinner, and trying to keep the house from becoming a disaster zone. Now with just over a month left before I start back to college, and Elianna starts going full time to preschool, I often wonder how crazy it's going to be. But this weekend, other than going to church today, we had a "do nothing" weekend. That is rare for us these days but man it was nice. And it just made me remember how much I miss those SIMPLE DAYS of just being a SAHM.

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1 comment:

Pam said...

Don't you wish some days we could go back to things being a little simpler... although at the time we didn't think anything about it being so simple!! I guess all the more reason we need to learn to capture the moments as they come... and the seasons while we are in them...

great post.

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