Monday, August 4, 2008

I know I have to do it, but I am not feeling good about it at all!!

Elianna, (huge sigh) Elianna I really don't know what I am going to do with this child. For one thing she is very strong willed child and she is going to be the life of me....she's only 3...what am I going to do when she is a pre-teen...or worse a TEENAGER. Heck what is it going to be like when she starts school??? Will I be going to the school everyday because she won't behave?

I know a family closely that has a little girl the same age as Bethanie. When she was younger, she misbehaved ALOT. She would scream at her mom, she would do things that she knew she wasn't alowed to do, she would sneak and get into things that were not hers or that could hurt her (such as vitamins, she got into them at least twice, once eating over half of a large bottle of gummy bear vitamins). I remember being on the phone or being around them and thinking they just need to discipline her and be consistant. The mom would constantly threaten conciquences, but never follow through. If she did follow through, like making her stand in the corner, she wouldn't pay close enough attention and the girl would sneak out and the mom wouldn't notice or make her get back in the corner if she did.

Bethanie was, and still is, always very well behaved!!! Thank GOD! Then I had Elianna...from the very beginning she was LOUD and cried alot, the mom I mentioned would always tell me "she reminds me SO much of "sis". WHAT??? no way, maybe as a baby but she will NOT act like sis when she gets older. A few days ago when I talked to her on the phone, she said it again..."She reminds me so much of sis at that age". It kills me to hear that! And it reminded me of all the empty threats that I heard that mom throw out when sis was around Elianna's age. Am I guilty of that??? I know it doesn't work, kids won't take you serious if you threaten but never do whatever it is that you threaten to do. So that leads us (finally) to the point of the title of this post...

Yesterday Elianna was horrible, several times through out the day she screamed at me (which I absolutely HATE!!!!! I feel so disrespected by my own child when she does it) and I thought I have got to do something to make her realize that I am serious when I say not to scream at me. So I told her she had 3 chances, if she screamed at me or completely defied what I tell her 3 times, she would not get to go to the fair on Monday. She had been really excited about going after we saw some of the rides being set up on Saturday. Well it lasted probably less than 2 hours from when I told her about the 3 chances. So tonight, to show her I am serious, Bethanie and I along with my sister and 2 neices, are going to the fair. Elianna gets to stay home with her daddy. She already doesn't like it but I can only imagine what it's going to be like when we actually leave. And let me tell is killing me, I can feel the tears coming to my eyes as I write about it. I even gave her another chance last night, her and Bethanie got upset that Elianna wasn't going to be allowed to go today, Elianna told me she would be good, she promised. I told her she had one more chance. If she was good, I would go ahead and let her....about 10 minutes later, she screamed at me because she didn't want to go to bed, I reminded her about her promise of being good, so she hit me (I hate that just as bad as the screaming). So she is NOT going! I want my girls to have fun, to have great memories of their childhood, but it's no fun to any of us when her and I are constantly battling.

So tonight Bethanie and I will be going to the fair and we WILL have fun. Hopefully Elianna will understand and her behaviour will improve at least a little, so that we can all go to the fair at least one day this week. I hope if I see anyone I know at the fair that they don't ask where Elianna is, I would hate to start crying at the fair...oh or feel like the worst mom in the world!


tafkalorelei said...

((((hugs)))) I SWEAR that sounds like Dalton. I love that child with all of my being...but he is so strong willed. Good for you for sticking to your guns...I know it is killing you to leave her behind but hopefully she will learn a lesson from it. I don't know what else to tell you but to just try to be consistent. I think consistency is the key but it's so hard for us as moms when we get distracted by other things. Hang in there. ((((hugs))))

cre82learn said...

Been there, done that and my heart bleeds for you!! My oldest was so much like that. When she was only 18 months, my *pastor's wife* gave me Dr Dobson's book The Strong Willed Child. How embarrassing!! That is a good book but bottom line is consistency which I know is my problem. And a LOT of prayer LOL. I would highly recommend you researching the Feingold diet. I discovered that most of my dd's behaviors were a result from food combinations she ate or cleaners we used.For example (not that we had tons of sweets except at parties) chocolate didn't affect her that much or Mtn. Dew BUT if she had them together she would get so aggressive that I practically had to send her younger sibling to my mom's house until it was over. If you can steer it in the right direction, that strong willed nature will one day make her a great leader and she will never bow down to peer pressure. I see that now that mine is 19!! I remember a frequent prayer "God help me to endure my blessings."

Anonymous said...

I am impressed by you Sarah. Soph is the same way a persistant little bugger that just doesn't give up, the fact that you are holding true to your word is awesome....that is so hard to do...and I know it's not much reassurance, but you are doing the right thing. Big gigundo hugs!!!
BTW, thanks for your very kind words to me - it means a great deal!!!:)

cre82learn said...

Just wanted to let you know that I answered your laundry question on my blog today. Check out HomeSchool HomeEc

twinsmom1 said...

hey there! i got your comment on my blog. you can email me at and i can fill you in on how to use the freebies and such. as for the strong willed 3 year old, well, i have two of them. boy/girl twins. i can sympathize with you!!!!

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