NOT a good day!

A couple weeks ago my girls came in the house all excited because "we found BABY KITTIES". Sure enough one of the stray cats that had been staying at our house had had kittens. I don't know if the mother cat moved the kittens or if they had been there all along but the kitten were in the corner of our carport inside DH's extra 4 wheeler tires. When they found the kittens they were big enough to walk around and we even fed them that night. I figured they were at least 4 weeks old. The mother cat, who we never did give a name to, is a VERY scared acting cat. It will act like it wants to be friendly and let you pet it UNTIL you get close to her then she jumps and runs off as fast as she possibly can. I've never touched her and she has been here for a while. So when the kittens were discovered, I expected them to be the same way. But I was pleasantly surprised, they LOVED the kids. All the kittens were a tan color except one. The "special" one was gray with some white stripes. This kitten was the most pleasant little kitten I had seen in a very long time and the girls, especially Elianna, absolutely adored it. Elianna called the kitten her baby, she cradled it, wrapped it in a blanket, was always carrying it around. She would put it in the doll stroller or the wagon and push it around. And the kitten acted like it LOVED it. I so wish I had taken pictures of the two of them together. As soon as that kitten would hear the girls come outside, here it would come running and meowing for them (most of the cats run when they see the kids coming, lol). Even when I would be babysitting and all the kids would be outside playing (I wouldn't let the kids play with the kittens) this kitten would not stay away, it just loved being by the kids ;D Well this morning, as we were leaving for church, I sent the girls out to get in the van while I gathered the rest of our stuff. We were running late so when I went out I hopped in and started backing up. When I turned around I realized I had ran over a kitten....THAT kitten....the special one....Elianna's baby. It must have followed the girls out when they went to the van. My heart just sank when I realized what I had done. At first I was aggravated at the kitten for being under the van. I didn't want to upset the girls so I just pulled out of the driveway. Well I didn't make it very far, 2 housed down the road and I started bawling my eyes out. By time I got to the stop sign I was crying so hard I had to just stop. I knew I had to tell the girls what was wrong. So stopped there at the stop sign, still bawling, I told them how sorry I was and what I had done. I don't think they truly understood, they didn't seem upset about it. Bethanie I think understands now after coming home and burying the kitten in the back yard. But Elianna, I know she doesn't fully understand. I had sent the girls in the house while I put the kitten in a little box and had a bag around it (there was blood and I didn't want them to see it). Elianna kept asking to see the kitten, at first I said no but then decided it was for the best. Elianna saw the bag and told Bethanie that I put the bag in there to keep the baby kitten "comfable". They seemed sad while we were burying it but other than that have been fine. No tears from them, me on the other hand fill up with tears every time I think about it. It was my fault, I should have been more careful.

We had already dealt with loosing some other kittens this past week. Another cat, who until the day it had kittens we thought was a boy, it never looked a bit pregnant at all, had 4 kittens. Two were born dead, the other 2 were REALLY small and died shortly after. My sister mentioned that they were probably premature. Well for me that opens a whole new can of worms for me...as nutty and crazy as this sounds I felt a strange connection with them because they were preemies. I was really sad that the two did not make it :( I guess being a preemie mom, I am just drawn to anything preemie.

Now I am just hoping that the rest of this week is a better week. Me and the girls are headed to Girl Scout Day camp, we are hoping for and expecting a fun filled week.