2 Princesses, a Queen, and an old frog

Your gonna miss this....very picture heavy.

2009-08-17T00:09:00.013-04:00

As we prepare for school to start back for Bethanie and I this Wednesday, this weeks Your Gonna Miss This Moment is easy. Just as the picture of Elianna above portrays so well, I am SO gonna miss the carefree fun days of summer! As we wrap up our summer the house is still messy and unorganized, kitchen walls and cabinets are still unpainted and the boarder is still in rolls, the living room has not gotten rearranged and the entry area remains the same. BUT.... lots of fun was had and many, MANY memories were made. So even though I didn't get ~~all~~ any of the stuff done that I wanted to this summer, we had fun, we made memories, and that is much more important. After all, like I am reminded many times, they are only little once and this "once" is going by much too fast. So for this week, I am joining Pam in her Your gonna miss this moment blog carnival with a bunch of pictures from our fun summer. When you are done here, go visit Pam and the others for more "Your Gonna Miss This...Moment" and join in if you have moments you are gonna miss.
We are gonna miss.....

Camping with many of our friends from church

Feeding the ducks and geese

playing in the creek and making our own "water slide" in the mud (which my camera battery went dead for :( )

Fourth of July festivities and fireworks

Swimming at Nana's...

Having fun at the water park

Sliding down little slides....

medium size slides....

And big slides!

and spending time with cousins.

Picnic lunches with yummy fresh cherries!

Fun times with cousins at the park

Hiding in the shade of the tunnel when it got to hot to play on anything else

Making our own splash pad at the park when it was too hot to play on the playground.

Enjoying the beauty at the park (a different one) after a day at the museum.

Jumping away from squirrels that get too close, lol (that brown blob in the middle is a squirrel, it came right up and touched Elianna's hand, I tried to take a picture but all I caught was the two of them jumping away from each other, lol.)

Feeding the Pigeons

Fun days at the county fair!

And just spending our days together!

I hope you enjoyed this recap in pictures of out summer, this was just a few of our fun things, many didn't get captured on camera (it was left at home or had dead batteries too many times to mention). I am hoping for a good school year for all three of us. I don't want to rush the year but I already look forward to next summer!!!

Not me Monday...4th of July edition

2009-07-06T18:08:00.004-04:00

I don't have time for pictures right now but here is my first attempt at Not Me Monday...Pictures will come later :)

I did not drink Dr. Pepper and iced tea all evening at work on Thursday evening knowing that caffine that late would keep me up and I most certainly did not finally fall asleep at 7 am on Friday morning due to all that caffine I had.

I also did not use that time through the night when I should have been sleeping in order to make both of the girls a dress to wear for the 4th of July. ( pictures coming soon, remember)

And I also most certainly did not sleep till 2 in the afternoon on Friday, good thing DH had the day off just in case I would have done something so crazy that day.

I did not nievely assume since I had kids that I would not be scheduled to work on the 4th of July even though I didn't put in a request to have the day off.

I did not pout around all day on the 4th knowing I had to go into work that night.

I did not cheer up when it started pouring down rain and continue to rain for hours.

I did not jump for joy and give out a big ol' YEA!! right on the front line at work when I heard the fire works had indeed been cancelled and rescheduled for the 5th...in which I was OFF work.

And I did not keep a smile on my face ALL day on Sunday during church, a dinner and special service at church, and a birthday party/cookout, knowing I was going to get to take the girls to the fireworks after all on such a BEAUTIFUL night...and keep the long time tradition going :)

Now go visit MckMama and share what you did not do this week!

Me and my girls :)

2009-06-17T02:13:00.005-04:00

This week we are having Bible school at our church. Tonight started off with a bit of Chaos! We arrived at the church a bit early to find a crew there re-sealing the parking lot, you know with hot stinky TAR! What in the world, who would have ever arranged for something like that to be done the week of bible school, hmmm, apparently someone who didn't think it would matter since....THEY WERE AT THE WRONG CHURCH!!!!! So here we are less than an hour before bible school is to start and the parking lot is blocked off and cannot be walked on. Luckily we have a gravel drive way beside the parking lot where the dumpster sits and it was big enough that everyone could pull in there. But then what to do about getting to the building? They put card board, tarp, and rugs down that led to the little building then from there to the main church. We had to catch each person as they arrived so that they wouldn't walk on it and ruin their shoes and track it into the church. It was a bit crazy but it all worked out in the end, and the church agreed to pay 1/2 price what they would have charged, for them to go ahead and complete the job (we were planning to get it done soon anyways, it was just bad timing). So after our crafts tonight we did face painting. A few of the adults painted the kids faces. Some of the kids kept asking to paint someones face so after all the kids faces were done, we let them paint the adults faces. Then when we got home Bethanie was complaining that her tooth hurt, it was loose, she tried to pull it first then she told me to do it, I barely touched it and it was out and she was crying, then laughing, then crying again. I started laughing at her which made her start laughing again, it was so funny. Then i got my camera out so I could take a picture of her, what was suppose to be a picture or 2 of Bethanie's new checkerboard mouth turned into a complete photo shoot that had me and the girls cracking up! Here are some of the results....

Bethanie showing off her checkered board mouth, she is now missing 4 teeth!

Showing off her lady bug! I think this is the first time Bethanie has ever had her face painted, usually she refuses to have it done!

Elianna showing off her butterfly.

Cheesy girl!

And here's mine (please don't mind how I am dressed, I was trying to look like a camper/hiker but could only find a plaid shirt of DH's to where), Elianna painted the left cheek it's a heart (made of different colors) with a yellow circle around it. Bethanie painted the other cheek, it's a flower.

Bethanie and I, Elianna took this picture.

Bethanie was taking mine and Elianna's picture together, I have no idea where she learned it but she gave me bunny ears!! Then since I was laughing and my eyes were nearly closed, I told her to take another one in which....

...Elianna gave me "MOOSE EARS" (better known as moose antlers to most) I think she must of come up with this on her own because I have never seen anyone do this before, lol.

This picture is horrible but I LOVE it! It captured Bethanie laughing so hard her eyes are closed and Elianna is being her goof ball self and acting crazy!

Giving each other bunny ears. Just look at that pride on Elianna's face that she was giving Bethanie bunny ears, I'm telling you, she thought this was the funniest thing ever.

Me and my calm, quiet, and toothless Bethanie who is growing up WAY to fast

And finally I gave Elianna "moose ears" to which she cracked up when she saw the picture.

We laughed SO much and had such a good time...and we weren't even doing anything but acting silly and taking pictures...I love times like these!

I'm gonna miss this...Girl Scout Day Camp

2009-06-13T18:03:00.005-04:00

This week me and the girls went to girl scout day camp. It rained, and rained, and stormed, and rained some more and lot, and lots, and LOTS of mud was made! In fact our nice, shady, up on the hill spot that we chose to get away from the heat...was over taken the last day by a stream that ran right through it, lol. But you know what??? WE STILL HAD FUN and you know what else, I am going to REALLY miss this!! I am going to miss getting to a leader for our troop and taking the girls to camp. I am going to miss all the giggles that come from the back seats as we drive that long way to and from camp everyday.

(The girls from our troop that got to go plus Elianna)

I'll miss getting to be a unit leader at camp and enjoying having the girls we have had both years (even if some of them drive me to the verge of insanity, lol) and finding stuff to keep them entertained and busy during our free time while trying to help them earn some badges.

(our unit, I blurred the girls faces, the other blurry spots...rain drops, you guessed it, it was raining while we had group pictures)

I'll miss the creativity of the girls

I'll miss the joy they had in getting to make a fire they get to eat all while learning all about camp fire safety.

I'll miss their bravery and the fun they have at creaking, I am sure soon enough none of them will want to do this anymore.

(although it looks like we are trying to escape a flood, we really were only creaking)

I'll miss seeing the fun they have with water games.

And yes, even though I feel I have had to tramp through enough mud to last me a life time, I will miss the extreme joy they all experienced in getting to jump right in, lol.

I am so glad I get to be there for my girls during fun times like these. I sorta dread the day when Elianna is old enough to be in her own group instead of tagging along with Bethanie's because then I will only get to be with one group and not get to enjoy the fun that they both experience. I will definitely miss the day that I am no longer needed as a leader!

For more you're gonna miss this, please go visit Pam's site, and join in if you want to!

Summer, summer... SUMMER!!

2009-05-31T11:59:00.002-04:00

Well it is now summer vacation, WOO HOO!! I've been out for 3 weeks now, Elianna for 2, and Bethanie just finished up last week. I got a job, working at Wendy's (where I worked from the time I graduated high school till Bethanie was born). I will be working nights, mostly going in at or after 7pm. So for the first time in 3 years....I will have all day, all summer to spend just me and my girls :D I am so excited!!!! I've got so much stuff I want to get done around the house and so much fun stuff for me and the girls to do.

With the girls my plan is to come up with a list of chores for them to do (simple things that don't take but a few minutes) each day. Then when they complete their chores they will get to pick from the "FUN jar". The FUN jar is going to have a lot of activities for us to do, they will get to pick one thing each day that they complete their chores. I am getting my list of activities to put in the jar from here, here, here, and my old time favorite here!! We are taking part in a summer reading project that Bethanie's school is doing. Although Elianna doesn't yet go to the same school, the teacher over the project is also including her and has lessons and activities for her to do as well. We will do our yearly summer reading program at the local library and will likely attend many of the fun things they plan there. We will also be going to Girl Scout Day Camp one week and having Bible School at our church the following week.

As for the house stuff, first I want to get it cleaned up and organized. I am going to get my kitchen walls and cabinets painted and hang wall paper boarder (I've had the paint and boarder for a year and a half now, don't you agree it's about time I get it done, lol). I want to rearrange my living room and make an "entrance area" by our back door. I've got lots of other goals for the house as well. My goal is to work about 2 hours each day on the house then enjoy the rest of the days with the girls.

So in order to be able to do all this stuff I am going to have to cut something out of my days...and that something is going to be my internet time. Oprah had a show last week about a challenge where all electronic stuff was taken away from these families to see how they did. Then today as I was looking around, went to this blog I had never seen before and the first thing I saw was this entry and could SO relate to what it was saying! Sooooo, no more internet for me through the week. Monday through Friday the computer and the tv will be kept off (I am sure DH will not go along with this so his laptop will still be getting use). So look on the weekends for lots of pictures of all the fun and productive stuff I have accomplished each week!

Please stand by....

2009-05-31T11:54:00.002-04:00

my blog is under construction, lol.

Can't wait till gets done, I am loving the new back ground. A good online friend and fellow PE sister offered to make me a new header :) Thanks again Lori! I'm so excited!!!

Can anyone help me?

2009-05-23T13:29:00.003-04:00

I am wanting to change my blog layout/background/header! I love, Love, LOVE my blog the way it is now but I am just ready to change it, it has been over a year of the same thing. So where do I go for FREE stuff. I have looked on Cutest Blog on the Block, they have some REALLY cute stuff but I can't find a header to go with the backgrounds I like. I want it to be americana like, red, white, and blue, maybe some stars and or stripes, I want to use this picture

Even though it's almost a year old now, it's still my favorite for now.

Oh, and while I am at it...does anyone know if you can change the name of the blog without starting a new one...ok, maybe I could just not put the title up there?

Anyone got any suggestions?

Thanks!

It's days like these....

2009-05-12T22:28:00.010-04:00

...that make me realize how blessed I am, how far we have come, how special Bethanie truly is, and what a miracle we experienced.

A couple weeks ago this little girl, Maddie, passed away suddenly from what I believe was a respiratory infection. Maddie was a preemie, born 11 weeks early. At 17 months old she was catching up and thriving, but because of her lungs still being weak due to being born so early, her little body could not handle this respiratory illness.

Then just this week, I read of this little girl, Kayleigh. Kayleigh was also a preemie, born 12 weeks early (Due to Preeclampsia, the same as my self). She was 11 months old, she went through 7 major surgeries and had never been able to go home. This week she lost her hard fought battle and passed away.

My Bethanie, as most of you probably remember, was also a preemie. She was born 13 weeks early (she was earlier than either of the 2 babies I just mentioned) and weighed 1 pound 12 ounces.

She spent 84 days in the NICU. Of those 84 days we eagerly waited 21 days before we got to hold her for the first time....

It took 5 long weeks before she could successfully be weaned off the ventilator....

She came home still requiring oxygen....

Then finally 1 month after bringing her home, we got to see her beautiful little face with no tubes or wires attached....

We had been warned of how serious it could be if she were to catch a cold or something worse, so for the first 5 months of being home, we kept her isolated in hopes of keeping her free of any illnesses. It was SUCCESSFUL! We took her out for the first time (to anywhere other than the doctor) at 8 months, she got to go to church on her first Easter. She did not get sick for the first time till she was 18 months old and that was a stomach virus, which resulted in her getting badly dehydrated. That has thankfully been her one and only return stay in the hospital. From then on she thrived....

Her first birthday....she weighed a hefty 13 pounds then!

Her second birthday....looking much more like a 1 year old, she was now up to 18 pounds.

Then her third...

Fourth....

Fifth...she was now up to 31 pounds and had just started school.

6th....

Seven.....

Eighth....

and here we are today....

A VERY smart, loving, beautiful little girl who now weighs 48 pounds who I love with all my heart and am more proud of than words can ever say. She has overcome so much and for that I am eternally thankful to the Lord above for letting her survive and giving me the privilege of being her mom. I Love you Bethanie Ann!!!!! XOXOXOX

(Mother's Day 2009 Alyvia, Bailey (my nieces), Bethanie, and Elianna)

I don't, and probably never will, know why Bethanie is so perfect and alive and these other families had to give their babies back to our Heavenly Father but I do know that I will hug and cherish my girls even more knowing what could have been. My heart and prayers go out to the 2 families who have lost their precious little girls. I can not even begin to imagine the pain they are going through.

One more thing I need to share...When I was dismissed from the hospital after having Bethanie. Matt and I went to Kroger's to get my prescriptions filled before going home. As we went through the card section, I noticed an Anne Geddie's card with this picture

I had a feeling of peace when I saw it, it's hard to explain, but I knew I had to get it. I felt like God wanted me to see that picture as if He was telling me "She's going to be fine, I'm holding her in my hands". My MIL took that card and had it framed for me and it still to this day hangs in my bedroom.

Recently my girls have discovered a little picture album that I had made for Bethanie when she was a baby, to keep in the diaper bag to take with us when we would be out. In it I have a few pictures of Bethanie when she was in the NICU. One of those pictures she is wearing a dress that was REALLY tiny and my girls now use it for a doll dress. I think Elianna (who is only 4) has realized, to a point, that Bethanie was really tiny as a baby. Tonight she was getting ready for bed in my room and she yelled for me to come in there. When I walked in the room, she pointed to that Anne Gedde's picture and asked me if it was Bethanie when she was a baby. I told her no and then about how I had gotten it when Bethanie was still in the hospital and how it made me think that God was holding Bethanie in his hands. She got such a peaceful, happy smile on her face, tipped her head to the side and nodded almost like "Yea, you are right mom".

How Fun!!!

2009-04-30T16:09:00.005-04:00

Heard this song on K-Love this morning!!! Had to share it, it brought a smile to my face, hope it does the same for you :)
I tried to figure out how to put the video directly into the post but couldn't figure it out, sorry, here's the link instead
The Cartoon Song

Ok, found it at YouTube...here it is, this video has the words but the cartoons aren't moving, the one above the cartoons are playing while the song is playing. Pick which you would rather watch, or watch both, the point is the song :)

Who needs a Nintendo DS when you can have this......

2009-04-24T23:03:00.004-04:00

That's right it's the all new PAPER DS! It even opens up, has an on/off switch, and the other controller buttons like the "old model".

Tonight I was sitting outside on our swing while the girls were over on the neighbors back porch playing with their little girl. Elianna comes over to me, very excited, this is how our conversation goes...

E: Mommy, look what A gave me!! It's a DS!!!!! (handing me the paper version)

me: WOW, how cool. So what's a DS (I wasn't sure if she knew or not)?

E: umm, it's a thing you play

me: Oh, cool. You mean like a game?

E: uhhh, yea (in a not so sure voice). Here you can play it for a while.

She opens it up and shows me how to turn it on, she even showed me one side of the button is to turn it on and the other is to turn it off.

E: and these buttons over here... this one makes it stop, and this one...(I can't remember what the other buttons do but she knew exactly what she thought they would do)

me: looks like fun.

E: yea, play it mommy.

So I do and off she goes back to play with the other girls. I decided I had to take a picture, so I brought it in the house. A little while later Elianna comes running in the house.

E: MOMMY, where's my DS.

I tell her where I had layed it. she grabs it, holds it like a real game, and off she goes.

BTW, Elianna has never played with a real DS before, lol.

What a GREAT imagination!!

Long overdue pictures

2009-04-19T23:25:00.005-04:00

Today I took a nap...a LONG nap. I was tired, so now that it's time for bed....I'm NOT tired. There are SO many things I could/should be doing instead but decided that sharing pictures sounded more fun, so here I am.

We had a great Easter. The day was BEAUTIFUL!! The Easter Story Cookies that I posted about did not turn out. The first night (Easter-Eve) I beat the mix for a good 30 minutes and still could not make "stiff peaks" So I told the girls we would try again the next night. I found out that it was because we had gotten a tiny bit of the yolk in the bowl. So on Easter night we tried again, I got the stiff peaks this time...only this time I made the cookies too big so the next morning they were not hard, they were still gooey in the middle which resulted in them not being hollow, but they still tasted good :) . On Easter we went to church, then went to my grandmas. Since Bethanie was born DH has only missed church on Easter 1 year (and it was a very rough year) and he has always come to my grandma's for Easter dinner and the annual Egg hunt. It has always been a tradition to get family pictures taken while we are at my grandmas while we are dressed up. This year he stayed home....and played his game. Yes, I was very upset, but I did not let it ruin our day.

The girls and I carried on the tradition without him.

After we ate, hunted eggs, and visited for a long while. We headed back home (just across the creek) I considered taking a nap but decided it was too beautiful outside to spend the day inside. So me and the girls spent the whole afternoon (what was left of it anyways) outside. I took more pictures of them....

(Elianna had found some glittery make-up)

We admired the beautiful tulips (all 4 of them) that had grown in our front yard....

and we "chalked" on the carport with their new sidewalk chalk.

We took "baby" Walter (a plant I had to grow and keep a baby book for for one of my classes) outside and got pictures of him with his big sisters....

Then we went back to church that evening. We just throuroghly enjoyed the whole day. Look at those bright blue eyes on Elianna!!! Still after 4 years I look at those eyes and can't believe I have a blue eyed girl.

And since I broke my promise to share pictures while I was on Spring Break here are some from Elianna's birthday party. We had a joint party for Elianna's 4th and my niece, Bailey's, first. We had a princess theme, my aunt made them a castle cake. Here are the birthday girls

And here is my beautiful little princess.

Oh, and I knew since Elianna was born that it was bound to happen someday and this week it did. Bethanie, who is 8 1/2, and Elianna, who turned 4 in February, now weigh the exact same! I weighed them on Tuesday and they both weighed 46.8 pounds!!

Easter Story Cookies

2009-04-11T13:22:00.003-04:00

When Bethanie was a baby, I found the following recipe. I thought it sounded like a great idea for kids but her being a baby, she wouldn't understand. So I printed it off and saved it. Every year at Easter I would forget about it. I would run across the recipe every now and then but it was always like middle of summer or christmas time...never any where near easter (which just typing that makes me realize I could have done this ANY time of year, it's an important story to know no matter when they them learn it). This week the cookie dough that Bethanie sold for a school fundraiser came in. As I was thinking of making some for Easter I remembered the Easter Story Cookies and looked them up on line. Here I found a recipe that includes Bible verses to support what each step represents. So tonight as we get ready to go to bed, we are going to make these. I am excited that the girls will have something more to focus on than just what the Easter Bunny but in thier baskets. Now I just hope they work like they are suppose to. Here is the recipe that I found at "Home with God"

Easter Story Cookies to be made the night before Easter
You need:
1 cup whole pecans
1 tsp. vinegar
3 egg whites
pinch salt
1 cup sugar
zipper baggie
wooden spoon
tape
Bible

Preheat oven to 300 degrees (this is important - don't wait until you are half done with the recipe!)

Place pecans in zipper baggie and let children beat them with the wooden spoon to break into small pieces. Explain that after Jesus was arrested, He was beaten by the Roman soldiers.
Read John 19:1-3

Let each child smell the vinegar. Put 1 tsp. vinegar into mixing bowl. Explain that when Jesus was thirsty on the cross, He was given vinegar to drink.
Read John 19:28-30

Add egg whites to vinegar. Eggs represent life. Explain that Jesus gave His life to give us life.
Read John 10:10-11

Sprinkle a little salt into each child's hand. Let them taste it and brush the rest into the bowl. Explain that this represents the salty tears shed by Jesus' followers, and the bitterness of our own sin.
Read Luke 23:27

So far, the ingredients are not very appetizing. Add 1 cup sugar. Explain that the sweetest part of the story is that Jesus died because He loves us. He wants us to know and belong to Him.
Psalms 34:8 and John 3:16

Beat with a mixer on high speed for 12 to 15 minutes until stiff peaks are formed. Explain that the color white represents the purity in God's eyes of those whose sins have been cleansed by Jesus.
Read Isaiah 1:18 and John 3:1-3

Fold in broken nuts. Drop by teaspoons onto wax paper covered cookie sheet. Explain that each mound represents the rocky tomb where Jesus' body was laid.
Read Matthew 27:57-60

Put the cookie sheet in the oven, close the door and turn the oven OFF.
Give each child a piece of tape and seal the oven door. Explain that Jesus' tomb was sealed.
Read Matthew 27:65-66

GO TO BED! Explain that they may feel sad to leave the cookies in the oven overnight. Jesus' followers were in despair when the tomb was sealed.
Read John 16:20 and 22

On Easter morning, open the oven and give everyone a cookie. Notice the cracked surface and take a bite. The cookies are hollow! Explain that on the first Easter, Jesus' followers were amazed to find the tomb open and empty.
Read Matthew 28:1-9

THANK YOU JESUS FOR WHAT YOU DID FOR US!

Have a Happy Easter!!!!

Monsters from Florida

2009-04-01T18:55:00.002-04:00

Let me start by saying niether of my girls have ever been to Florida, we have never talked about Florida, and we don't know anyone who lives or has went to Florida recently.

Today on my way to take Elianna to school we saw a horse trailor at a stop light that was on the road that was intersecting with the road we were on. Elianna saw it and this is how our conversation went...
E: Mommy, look at that, what's in there.
Me: I don't know, maybe they have horses in there.
(then the trailor turns and we can see that the back is completely empty)
Me: Oh, I guess there isn't anything in there they must have already dropped the horses off.
E: Maybe they are gonna go pick up some animals
Me: Maybe so
E: Maybe they are gonna pick up some horses, or maybe they are gonna pick up some BEARS.
Me: Ooohhh, that would be scary but maybe so.
E: Maybe they are gonna pick up some big LIONS.
Me: Hummm, I don't know about that.
E: Or maybe, maybe they are gonna pick up MONSTERS.
Me: Monsters??
E: Yea, scary monsters. But Mommy, where would they get monsters at?
Me: (all that came to mind was probably under your bed, but decided not to go there, lol) I don't know, but I hope I don't ever find them!
E: Maybe in Florida.
Me: Florida?? What makes you think there are monsters in Florida? Where did you ever hear about Florida?
E: Well, I don't know if they have a zoo in Florida or not.
Me: Are there Monsters at a zoo?
E: (ignoring my question) Yea, they do have a zoo in Florida cause Hannah (her new little friend at school) telled me.
Me: Did Hannah tell you about Florida?
E: No, I just knowed about it

HIP, HIP, HORRAYYYYY!!!!!!

2009-03-20T23:14:00.004-04:00

SPRING BREAK IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND....

Today is the......first.....day.....of...........

SPRING!!!!!!

YEA, YEA, YIPPEE, YEA!!!!

After the week I've had, all I can say is PRAISE THE LORD!!!

I have spent every spare second this week working on a project for my one class. After approximately fourteen hours, yes that's right 14 HOURS of working on this darn lexicon thing and still not being done, I go to the computer lab, following a test that completely fried my brain, to work on it longer and it DISAPPEARED off my jump drive!!! Yes that is correct again...IT DISAPPEARED...all 13 pages of it! After an hour and some very intense feelings of needing to cry and vomit (literally, I am not kidding here) "THE computer guy" at the college managed to find it!!! So I took a little break, got some lunch with a friend, skipped my other class, then got back to work for the next 3 1/2 hours till it was finally FINISHED and SUBMITTED!!!! HALLELUJAH!!!

And Spring break officially began!

I stopped and got a pizza for dinner, headed home and lazed in lazy boy recliner for the rest of the evening.

Tomorrow, the girls and I are headed to a Princess Party, then I will spend the entire rest of the week cleaning and organizing my house, prettying up my yard, getting school work ahead of schedule, and just enjoying my time off of school with my girlies.

I will promise you this, sometime this week I will do a much overdue post with pictures from Elianna's birthday party (from early February) , the princess party , and everything in between. So now I am headed to bed for some sweet spring time dreams...goodnight!

My feelings are hurt...or somthing

2009-03-16T01:54:00.002-04:00

It's nearly 2 am, I have a presentation in my class at 10 am that is not completely ready, yet here I sit, my mind unable to focus on anything other than the hurt I am feeling from someone elses words from earlier in the day.
I have been struggling lately with the time I am away from Elianna. Since I first became a mom 8 1/2 years ago, my entire life has focused around my girls. Going back to college is the first thing I have done for myself (and really it's not just for myself in the long run, but for now it does feel that way). I am really not away from her much, I have a class on Tuesday evenings and then on Friday when she doesn't have preschool I have class from 8-2. But this month has had alot going on, First the David Cook concert which I couldn't stop thinking about the girls and asking myself why I was there (I did have fun, the concert was ok, MUCH harder rock and louder than I expected, but being with an old friend was fun). Then there was the volunteering at the food pantry for my one class, then there was the play that Bethanie and I went to, and then this weekend when Bethanie and I went to a Girl Scout indoor campout. Elianna has spent the night with my mom or my sister 2 weekends this month. I feel like all I have been doing is pawning Elianna off every Friday. And it doesn't help that every week when I take her to my aunt's house bright and early on Friday morning that she cries when I leave, telling me "I want you!". It about kills me to have to leave! It also doesn't help that I had to keep her home from preschool on Thursday (she locked both set of keys in the van) yet instead of enjoying our time together, I felt like she was a teenager and we spent the whole day battling with each other. All that to say I have been struggling, not feeling like a good mom, having issues with missing my "baby".
Then today happened. We had a dinner at church. I was up at the counter getting my plate, thoughts of where I was going to sit running through my head. I usually sit by my sister but today her husband came, they sat with some other people and there was no room at their table. Then I hear it, my aunt (the same one who watches Elianna on Fridays) and my sister (who Elianna spent the night with on Friday) talking, their coversation goes something like this...
Aunt: (says something but I am not tuned in to what is being said yet)
Sis: Yea, I don't get it, she has no problem coming to our house even though B (BIL) yells at her the whole time she is there.
I realize they are talking about Elianna, how she cries every time I drop her off at my aunts house. That's when my aunt say....
MAYBE SHE JUST DOESN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WHEN SOMEONE TREATS HER RIGHT
and my sister chuckles a little and says yea, maybe so.
I glanced up at them while my heart broke into a million very small pieces. I am not sure if their conversation continued after that, if I just tuned out, or if they know I heard them, but I was hurt. I AM HURT.
I am the only one on that side of my family that has ever been a stay at home mom. I was there for my girls 24/7 the first 8 years of Bethanie's life and first almost 4 of Elianna's. I took good care of my sister's girls while she worked full time from the time they were born till I went back to school and I took care of my aunts granddaughter from the time she was 8 months old till she started preschool at almost 4 while her mom finished school and started working a full time job. Now that I am in school, I am away from my girls less than I would be if I worked a full time job like the others, Yet for some reason I am a bad mother. Is DH a wonderful father? no, he acts like a drill sargent at times and he doesn't make spending quality time with them a priority by any means but is he horrible? No! And I have always strived to make it up to them where he falls short.
I am just really hurt by their words and am not sure what to do. Will I be able to take Elianna and drop her off at my aunt's after this? I just really don't know. And I guess if I need someone to keep Elianna over night I will call my mom.

Honestly?!?!

2009-02-22T13:08:00.005-05:00

WOW! I won an award!! Thanks Jen!!! I think it's my first one ever!!

The rules for this award:
Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
Show the winners names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with “Honest Scrap.”
They can keep the little Honest Scrap sign.

Ok, well I think all the blogs that I would give this to have already recieved it so....

Then list at least 10 honest things about yourself.
1. I would love to someday "Flip" a house. That's where you buy a cheap house, redo everything that needs done, then turn around and sell it again. You can make a years sallery in about 2 months. This would be a good summer activity for me after I become a teacher and the kids are older :)

2. I finally feel like "YES, I really can do this college thing", it took me getting some grades in to really feel this way.

3. I do miss my nieces but I DO NOT miss babysitting!

4. My house is unbelieveable cluttered, messy, and right now dirty but unless someone mentions coming over, it doesn't really bother me to much. Well at least not enough to actually postpone other things in order to get it organized and cleaned up.

5. I am shy and insecure but I am working really hard to overcome it.

6. I am more excited about the David Cook concert that I am going to with an old friend and 2 of her friends that I don't know, than I have been about anything for quite a while :) only 5 days to go!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Girls night out!!!! Ok, so one of the friends is a guy, from Moroco but that's ok.

7. No one in my real life knows I have a blog. My DH could easily find it since I have it saved to the tool bar at the top of the computer screan but he probably doesn't care.

8. I am a BIG time procrastinator! I swore I would not be when I started back to college but it's just who I am. Last week a paper that we had known about for weeks (I think about 4 weeks actually) was due on Friday by 5pm. I finished and submitted it...at 4:56pm. I hadn't even started it till a couple hours before that. I wish I could change but don't know how.

9. I often wonder if Bethanie's extreme shyness is my or DH's fault in some way.

10. I am volunteering at a Food Pantry two days this week and I am nervous that I will see people I know come in.

It came

2009-02-09T01:09:00.004-05:00

That ice that was coming down in my last post....WELL, even though the meteorologist on the local news more or less PROMISED it wouldn't be as bad as in 2003, saying the storm in 2003 was a one in 100 year occurance. Well.....HE.....WAS.....WRONG!!!! We got the ice, lost electric on Wednesday (realized it at 5am when Elianna woke me up by patting on me but I couldn't see who she was) went to stay with my sister. Electric came back on late on Friday. Went home on Saturday but didn't have phone, cable, or internet until Late Monday afternoon. I felt completely out of touch with the world.

No more pupcakes

2009-02-09T00:56:00.003-05:00

Today was a sad day for me (ok, at least a couple minutes were sad anyway). This morning as Elianna and Bethanie were enjoying left over "pupcakes" from Elianna's birthday party yesterday, Bethanie informed Elianna that they are really called CUPcakes rather than PUPcakes. So Elianna declared....From now on, I'll say it right, they are CUPcakes :( I thought I was going to cry. Bethanie called them pupcakes until probably a year or two ago, and then that's what Elianna has called them since she started talking. Now...my babies are growing up...and we won't have anymore PUPcakes in our house ever again :( :( :( I will definitely miss that!!

It's coming down!

2009-01-27T23:33:00.002-05:00

Ice that is! Since just after noon today, we have been getting icy rain which is falling on top of the already 5+ inches of snow we got last night! Me or either of the girls had school today because of the snow, they didn't have school on Monday either because we had gotten about 2 or so inches on Sunday. Now for tomorrow, school is already cancelled again because of the ice. Even the college is closed again. As I sit here in the quiet of my home looking around on the net, I hear the ice/rain coming down (it's coming down as rain now but is freezing as it hits the ground) and I have heard 3 trees fall (maybe they were just branches but they sure seemed loud). All this brings back the bad memories of the ice storm we had back in 2003, we were without electric for several days, therefore had to go stay with other family because we had no heat. We came out of that storm with, other the inconvience of staying with someone else in the dark, no damage to our selves, our home, or our cars. However MANY people around our area were not so lucky. Many people were hurt from not having heat, from falling on the ice, trees fell on homes, vehicles were destroyed from crashes and falling trees, many homes suffered damage from busted water pipes, etc. The area looked like a war zone! I am just hoping and praying that it's not that bad this time!!

Need to take a break

2009-01-19T10:50:00.003-05:00

I know I don't post very often on my blog anyways but I feel if I make a post about this then I will be more willing to hold myself to it. I am only going to have ONE "not for school" Internet day a week. That day will be Saturdays. So from here on out I plan to not visit my boards, my blogs, or any other site that doesn't pertain to school on any day other than Saturdays (and I can't guarantee I will even have time every Saturday). I thought I would have plenty of time to do school work in my free time BUT I didn't realize not only do I have class and lots of homework (and man is it a lot, A LOT of reading, A LOT of writings, and lots of class projects), but I also have field time that wasn't scheduled in. I thought Wednesdays and Thursdays were going to be free, those and Tuesdays were going to be my days to get all my work done so that evenings were pretty free to do all the evenings normal mom stuff. However after having my first days of all my classes I realized that isn't going to be the case. Wednesdays I have to go to one site for one class, Thursdays I am volunteering with Big Brother, Big Sister for another class. Then I have to fit in visits with 4 teachers from at least 2 different schools for my intro in Early childhood ED class and then observe one class room with a literacy center and begin working with a student for my literacy class all within the next 2 weeks!!! So i am off to go set up some field time, see you Saturday... maybe :)

Our milk, it don't come in gallons

2009-01-14T22:52:00.003-05:00

Elianna started going full days at preschool this week. She was only staying till 11am now she is there till 2pm. She was SOOO excited about it. She was most looking forward to...nap time, getting to watch a movie, and getting to eat lunch at school. I'm not sure why she was excited about nap time, she never naps unless she is sick, and we have rest time here everyday so that wasn't something really new. I knew she would be excited about eating lunch at school because her first week, she was really disappointed that she didn't get to each lunch. So I pick her up after her first long day, ask her how her day was. She was all excited to tell me that they get to watch a movie AT nap time (humm, just like rest time here, so why was it oh so exciting when it happens at school). Then as we were pulling out of the parking lot she says with much excitement "Mommy, at my school, our milk, it don't come in gallons." It's just too funny the things that a 3 year old gets excited about.

It's official!

2009-01-13T11:52:00.002-05:00

I am now a college student!!!! again. I even updated my profile :) I had my first class yesterday. As I sat there hoping I wouldn't be the only "old" person in the class, I look up to see one of my best friends from high school walking in the door!!!!!!

We had lost contact with each other some time after I got married. When Bethanie was about 3, she got in contact with me and we got together for dinner at Pizza Hut (the place we always went to in and right after high school). We made plans to get together on a regular basis but it didn't happen. This summer, after I hadn't seen her for a few years, I get my All You magazine in the mail, sit down to read it and low and behold there she is in the magazine!! She had moved about 10 hours away. I try to find her online but had no luck. Finally I stopped by where her parents use to live, not knowing if they even still lived there. Her mom still did. I asked about Jeanna and gave her my phone number to give to her. A week or so later she called me. She was getting ready to move back here so we made plans to get together when she got settled in. Then I never heard from her and DH deleted the message she left with her number (it had been on the answering machine for months, he didn't realize I was saving it for a reason). She called me on Christmas eve to wish us a Merry Christmas, we talked only a few minutes, she told me she was going back to school and I told her I was too. Never would have dreamed that we would have a class together! So after class yesterday, we went to eat together and got caught up on each others lives. It's so weird, when we first started college after high school, we would always try to get our classes together. Now here we are 16 years later (OMG, how could it have been that long ago!!) and doing it all again. I am just SOOO happy that I have someone I know in class with me and that we get to reconnect after all this time.

Looking back on babysitting

2009-01-10T23:22:00.012-05:00

This week my Your gonna miss this is very easy. Yesterday was my last day to babysit for my nieces. I never dreamed it would be as emotional as it was for me. We didn't do much during the day, just had a go with the flow kinda day. The older niece ~ Alyvia, Elianna, and I made snow men, and I just let them play and have fun. I was fine all day. I gathered up the baby stuff for my sister to take with her. My sister came that evening to pick them up, I was in a good, happy mood. We were laughing about some things the girls had done, I even felt a little bad because I felt good about it being my last day. As I helped my sister load the baby stuff into her van, my mood suddenly changed but i do not know why, suddenly I felt really sad. Then my sister tells me she got the OK to go into work late on Monday and told me about her boss asking her if she was going to cry all day on Monday. As soon as she said that I started crying, total surprise to me, but I did. I tried to not let her see me. I got myself together, then out of nowhere I would start crying again. When they finally went to leave I asked Alyvia, the oldest, for a hug and then I really started crying and couldn't keep it hidden from my sister any longer. I look at her and she starts crying too. She leaves with the girls and I cry off and on for the rest of the evening. Then today I was perfectly fine, had thought about the girls many times, had thought about starting college on Monday and I was fine, didn't feel sad about it at all. That is until my sister-in-law called, I was telling her how hard it had been and I started crying again and have continued every time I think about the girls since then. I am so going to miss them! I know I will see them at least once a week but it just won't be the same. I have babysat them since they were each 6 weeks old. As crazy as babysitting made me feel I was going at times, I will really miss it, and especially the kids, I love them all.

I first started babysitting when Elianna was about 7 months old. I started off just babysitting my cousin's little girl, Alyssa, who is 2 months older than Elianna. It was difficult at times having 2 babies but it was also fun.

(Elianna and Alyssa)

I continued to babysit her and then in April 2006, Alyvia was born. About 6 weeks after she was born my sister went back to work and I started babysitting her as well. During the summer it was just my girls and Alyvia because my cousin was out of school.

Come late summer I hear that a close friend of the family was looking for a babysitter. She had 2 girls, Katricia who was 3, and Abby who is 2 months younger than Elianna (1 1/2 at that time). I decided I would do it. So for the rest of the summer I had Bethanie~ 6, Katricia~3, Elianna and Abby~1 1/2, and Alyvia~ 4-5 months. After school started Bethanie went to Kindergarten and I started babysitting Alyssa again who was now almost 2 ~ 4 babies under 2 what was I thinking!! They sure kept me busy but it was also alot of fun.

(Bethanie, Katricia, Elianna, Abby, and Alyvia)

(Katricia, Abby, Alyvia, Alyssa, and Elianna)

(Alyvia, Katricia, Abby, Elianna, and the turtle we found in the yard)

Early the next summer my cousin had a little boy, Ethan. And once school started back up the next year I babysat for him as well. At that point I had Katricia ~ now 4, Elianna, Alyssa, and Abby~2 1/2, Alyvia~ 1, and now the first boy who was about 4 months.

(Elianna and baby Ethan)

The following February, my sister had her second little girl, Bailey. About 6 weeks after she was born, I started babysitting her as well. Katricia has now started preschool and would only come sometimes on Fridays.

Summer came and again I didn't have to babysit Alyssa and Ethan. Abby and Katricia would sometimes stay with their papaw who had just retired, so I had them less and less that summer. Then this school year started. Bethanie went into 2nd grade, Katricia to kindergarten, Alyssa and Elianna to preschool (not the same one). I only kept Alyssa a couple times at the beginning of the year, and Ethan started staying with his papaw (his best buddy). Abby came less and less. So most of this school year I have spent with just Alyvia and Bailey.

I will miss ALL the kids but Alyvia and Bailey I will miss the most. They have both been here since only weeks after they were born. I saw them do many things for the very first time. Alyvia called me mommy for the longest time, both of them are happy to see me every morning, I have a closeness with them most aunts don't get to experience with their nieces. I love these 2 girls as if they were my own.

I'm gonna miss the things they do that make me laugh

(Bailey drinking water from the sprinkler)

(Alyvia putting on MY makeup)

(Here's that picture again :) still making me laugh every time I see it)

(Alyvia playing dress-up)

I'm gonna miss seeing them sleep and especially having Baily fall asleep in my arms

I'm gonna miss the closeness, almost sister like closeness, that my girls have formed with Alyvia

I'm gonna miss the fun things we use to do like go to the park and paint or just play out in the yard

(Alyvia)

(Alyvia, the other kids painted rocks, Alyvia painted herself)

(Alyvia)

(Bailey)

I am going to miss their smiley faces and seeing them everyday.

(Alyvia, 9 months)

(Alyvia, 2 years)

(Bailey, 5 months)

(Bailey, 8 months)

I love you girls!!!! I'm gonna miss you terribly!!

To see more You're Gonna Miss This Moments visit Pam's blog.

2008~A year in pictures!

2009-01-04T20:03:00.016-05:00

I saw this idea for a year in pictures over at Amy's blog and again at Lori's and loved it. So here is my...

2008

January:

Elianna painted herself with her new paint set,

High winds destroyed our trampoline :(

and Elianna got her hair cut into a short bob. It was her first real hair cut.

February:

We went to Go Diego Go Live,Elianna turned 3, we celebrated with a fancy princess tea party.

March:

Bethanie lost her first top tooth

and we celebrated Easter

April:

The weather warmed up and we enjoyed getting outside to play.

May:

We went to a circus,We were overtaken by Cicadas (It only happens every 17 years so i HAD to mention them :) ) Elianna, although she freaks at the sight of bugs of any kind, dearly LOVED these creepy things and was really sad when they went away.

I went with Bethanie's class to the zoo, so many parents from her class went that only 1 parent chaperon had more than just their own child.

June:

Bethanie finished first grade.

July:

We celebrated the 4th of July by dressing patriotic, going to a cook out, and watching fireworks.

We celebrated my birthday with a picnic at the park after stopping at the local thrift store to buy me a dress (because Elianna insisted she get me one for my birthday). While at the thrift store we found hats for all the girls so I could get lots of cute pics.

August:

We had a regular visitor in our back yard

We went to the zoo and got up close with a tiger (there is a very thick piece of glass between Bethanie and the tiger. It was so cool being THAT close, that tiger would walk back and forth along that window, I don't think he could see through it though.)

Bethanie started second grade!

September:

Bethanie turned 8. We celebrated with a cookout and a Hannah Montana cake at the lake.

Elianna went to her first day of school after flat out REFUSING to go on the actual first day of school.

We met the newest baby idol - Hannah Banana Montana (this picture cracks me up every time I see it so I just had to add it in here :) )

Both girls played soccer

October:

Bethanie won 2nd place for her flower in a pot costume.

Elianna dressed up as a pack of smarties but should have been a pack of cry babies (remember those?).

And we carved pumpkins (the girls drew the faces, I cut them out)

November:

We got our tree up the day after Thanksgiving.

December:

We got a snow day with more than normal amount of snow for December.

Santa came to Elianna's class party and she happily sat on his lap :O

We had a great year and have ALOT to be thankful for. As I look forward to this new year that we have started I see many changes that are about to happen, they make me sad that my time as only full time mommy is over, yet excited for what the future holds. I am nervous as I prepare to go back to college after 8 years of no work or school outside my home but I can only lean on the Lord for guidance as this new branch of my life begins. Please keep me and my family in your prayers that we can adjust and do out best at getting through these changes.

HAPPY 2009!!!

May it be a great year for all of us!

Stuff we made this year

2009-01-01T16:19:00.004-05:00

We made ALOT of our gifts this year, I would say about 1/2 of all our gifts were handmade, or at least some part of it was. The girls and I made these scarves for all the grandparents on my side of the family (my mom, dad, grandma, and mom's husband who the girls call papaw as well). I got the idea from Sara's Art House, the girls helped cut the fringe and then stitched the words on, I zigzagged them onto the scarves (although I am a little embarrassed to say I did, I took a picture of the worse of the 4). We put hearts on the grandmas, a mitten on one and a football shape on the other of the grandpa's.

We made these pillows for my mom, with a reindeer made of each of the 4 granddaughters foot and hand prints, and for my sister with just her girls. I got this idea from some craft blog but cannot find it now. Their pillows were plain with the reindeer on them, I added the Christmas fabric boarder. The girls stuffed these themselves and had a BLAST doing it who would have thought adding stuffing could be so much fun for an 8, 3, and 2 year old :)A close up of Bethanie's.I made tu-tus for my nieces and my cousin's little girl. Found how to make them from Mom Dot, they are SOOO easy. Here is Alyvia's (2 year old niece), the tiara, boa, and necklace I found in the dollar section at the local grocery store. The tank top was one of Elianna's that she had never worn, I painted Alyvia's name on it with pink glittery fabric paint. I was so happy with how the hole set went together. This is Baby Bailey's, it looks much longer than it actually was. I would say it was no more than 8 inches long. The crown on a head band I also found in the dollar section, it was cheap made but looked SO cute on her.I also made both of the nieces an outfit. I made the skirts like this one (which is where I got the instructions for making them). The shirts I bought then cut one of the princesses from the skirt fabric and attached it to the shirt along with the first letter of their names. For Alyvia I made a little purse to match as well (she LOVES purses more than anything else). They turned out REALLY cute but I didn't get a picture of them.

We painted sweat shirts for my dad and my grandma. Here's my grandma's, feet and hand print angels. I had seen these on a kids site to make these angels with construction paper and tried it on a sweatshirt. I was happy with the turn out even though we got paint in a few places it wasn't suppose to be. I didn't take pictures of my Dad's. We actually made him 2, one with pictures of the 4 girls that said Papaw's girls. Then at the bottom said "Girls just wanna have fun...with their papaw", I was really tired when I painted the words on the shirt and kinda regretted it later. DH thought it sounded kinda bad. The other one we put the girls hand prints on it and wrote "Best Papaw, Hands down".

I also made a very cute apron for SIL that I made from a panel that I got from Walmart. I added a ruffle to the bottom and lined it so it could be reversible. It had snowmen and was really cute but I forgot to take pics of it too.

The girls also made my mom pictures of her and them. They drew the pictures with markers, wrote "Mamaw and Me" and I put them in frames. Mom loved them.

I really enjoyed making gifts for everyone, enjoyed being creative, seeing their faces when they opened their homemade gifts, but it really wore me out. Next year I still want to make alot of gifts but will start MUCH earlier. I was so last minute on some of these gifts that I was up till after 6 am on Christmas day (DH was waking up for the day as I was going to bed for the night, lol). And then had to finish my cousin's little girl's tutu in the van on the way to our Christmas gatherings. And I still have at least 2 more gifts to make -purses for my mom and sister. And was wanting to make my mom and sister a calender with the artwork by the kids.

Other than gifts we made some other things as well. The girls both made one of these in Wednesday night class at church. It's simply a paper with "shadows" of Joseph, Mary and baby Jesus. They colored them blue, then they rubbed baby oil on them to make them transparent. They glued craft sticks for the stable, glued glitter on a star and put on the top. Then put a little lamb with a cotton ball as wool on the front. I sat them in the front windows where we have Christmas lights on the inside. These were such easy ornaments but I just LOVE them. They look SOOOO pretty at night when it's dark outside and the Christmas lights are on. They look like they are all lit up. The picture doesn't really show how truly pretty they look.
Lastly I saw these snowmen doughnuts here. They were so simple but so cute, I just had to make them for the girls. Well when I was at the store getting the white doughnuts I saw the chocolate ones and wanted some of them too. The next morning when I was making them for the girls I had a great idea. I made whole snow men instead of just the heads....

And I also made......

PENGUINS!!!! The girls and DH got a big kick out them.

This is my 3rd post for today so be sure to look below for the other 2. And look for another, a new year/ a year in pictures post coming soon but not now because we are off to go out to eat seeing as how all we have had is a bowl of cereal all day.

Christmas Day

2009-01-01T15:38:00.007-05:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!!!

I stayed up WAY to late trying to finish some last minute gifts, so I was exhausted all day on Christmas therefore didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked to but here are what I did take...

The girls got bunk beds as their big present this year. We gave them the bunk beds on Christmas Eve. The plan was to take the girls to my sister's, she was going to keep them long enough for us to set the beds up, then take them to church. After church we were going to come home to one present under the tree. The girls were going to get to unwrap it right then, inside was going to be a note saying something like "The gift is in your room". Then they would run in there and there would be the bunk beds. i had it all planned out and was so excited BUT that didn't happen, I stayed longer than I should have at my sister's and the bunk bed assembly was MUCH more involved that me had anticipated, so we just stuck bows on the box the beds were in. The beds finally got put together 3 days later when I put them together all by myself (with a little help from the girls).

Since the girls were only getting 3 gifts each (remember, since Jesus only got 3, that was good enough for them as well), Santa mixed their gifts all up in hopes that it would take longer to actually open them, one at a time. Well the girls got up and separated them into piles, before waking me up. Oh well! It was so funny they were SOOOO excited that they got EXTRAS, two small gifts that were for them to share.

My favorite picture of the day :) Bailey, my niece being held by my Mom. Isn't she a cutie!?!?! She is such a happy baby.

The girls got "soft rainbowy PJs" as their gift from the passing party gifts with DH's family. Elianna was SOO excited about getting home and getting them on.

Since I had taken the girls beds down to make room for the bunk beds, that night we layed their mattresses on the floor and they slept on them in their new sleeping bags.

I was a very nice day celebrating the birth of our savior, Jesus, and spending time with family. I was very happy to finally get into bed that night and not have to get up early the next day.

BTW, we didn't end up doing the cake for Jesus, I had forgotten to buy a cake mix or stuff for icing, so we made one big cookie instead using the "break and bake" cookie dough. I tried to make it in the shape of a star but it turned out looking like a smashed turtle instead. We still sang happy birthday to Jesus, wish I had taken pictures anyways but I didn't.

Next year I WILL NOT wait till the last minute to finish making and shopping for gifts and especially won't stay up so late. I was just too tired to enjoy the day to the fullest. It was still a great day though!

Before Christmas

2009-01-01T15:08:00.006-05:00

There are so many things I have wanted to post about but just simply had the time (or when i did have time, didn't have the energy) so today I have decided I am going to get everything posted. I am really late getting these things up but here is some stuff from before Christmas.

Ever since before I was even married, I had always planned to make it a tradition to decorate for Christmas on the day after Thanksgiving but it has never happened...until this year that is!! DH had to work so me and the girls made a day of it, listening to Christmas music and decorating away. It was fun and we got it all done by about 4pm so the girls could go spend the night with my mom. The whole day Elianna wore a sparkly purple ty-died leotard, lol.

Bethanie had gotten up early after going to bed late so she looked tired but man she is just growing up way too fast.

So here is the tree... notice the bottom doesn't have a whole lot of ornaments left, I didn't take the picture till a couple weeks after it was set up, my 10 month old niece that I babysit for, loved to pull ornaments off. Thankfully we had put only non-glass, no hook ornaments down there. She was constantly pulling on it which is why I was so shocked when Elianna caused the tree to fall over.Here it is without the flash, my tree topper lights went out right after about a week after just replacing the light strand in it last year.

We had lots of fun stuff to do leading up to Christmas but sadly I either forgot to take my camera or my batteries were dead so I missed alot. We did make cookies and brownies at my Mom's house, all the girls had fun and I found aprons for each of them (although you can't see the babies since the canister is in front of her, she had a little half apron on). They were definitely on sugar overload by the end of the evening though.Here is Elianna and Alyvia (oldest niece) before leaving for Elianna's preschool class party. She just looks too grown up in this picture.

After the party the girls came home and played dress-up. The Christmas Princesses...

Now on to Christmas Day :)

Prayers needed for 2 little boys!

2008-12-29T23:32:00.002-05:00

The first is the 4 year old son of a long time online friend, Lori. Her Dalton was diagnosed with LCPD, he will likely have to use braces, crutches, bed rest, therapy or possibly even surgery none of which would be easy for any young child. Here's Dalton's blog to read all about him, his LCPD, and for updates as they get more information. http://www.dalton-lcpd.blogspot.com/

The second prayer request is for the little 8 week old MckMiracle named Stellan. I have been following MckMama's blog for a while now. Stellan had some severe heart trouble while in the womb, he was treated and was born with no signs whatsoever of any problems with his heart. Well now he has RSV and is having a very rough time with it and needs LOTS of prayers.

Not only do both of these precious boys need prayers but their mamas do as well. Please pray that both of these boys are completely healed with no lasting affects. And pray that their mamas have the strength that they need to get through these trials and come through it as stronger ladies (if that's even possible with either of these ladies).

OMG!!! Broken hearts, santa, snow and other misc. stuff

2008-12-18T16:07:00.004-05:00

OMG! As in OH MY GOSH, what was that?!?! Today I heard a crash and turned around to find this...

Yes, that's our Christmas tree laying on the floor. I am not real sure how it happened, Elianna and Alyvia (my niece that I babysit for) were standing by the tree. Elianna was pulling the string on the one ornament to make it play music and somehow it just happened. It resulted in a broken antler

A couple broken hearts

And I thought my heart was going to be broken because Bethanie's first Christmas ornament was headlessIt's a Precious Moments baby girl that says Baby's first Christmas and has the year. My grandma got it for her. When I saw it laying there I could feel the tears coming to my eyes and I had to walk away for a minute, Elianna was already really upset, she didn't need to see me getting really upset too. THANKFULLY, it was a clean break, a little super glue and other than a couple little shiney spots from the glue, you can't even telll the difference. My tree looks awful now and it's really wobbly ( I think I may have cracked the stand when I stood it back up) but you know I am just REALLY thankful that none of the kids were hurt and there wasn't more damage to my onaments.

I tried to post yesterday but blogger would not let me to the posting page. Yesterday Elianna had her preschool class party. Santa came and she SAT ON HIS LAP and SMILED ABOUT IT!!!! This is the first time she has ever happily sat on his lap.

She was even scared to death of him as a baby...

And just so you can get a better look at that face...

LOL!!! Look at those chubby cheeks. I just noticed that she has the same dress on in both of those pictures, hand me downs are great.

On Tuesday we woke up to about 4 inches of snow. Both of the girls schools were closed so I bundled them all up (took about 20-30 minutes) headed out side, took a few pictures, the girls played a minute or 2, then one needed to use the potty. Took her in, unbundled her, she used the potty, bundled her back up (another 10 minutes) she went back out side. I fixed the baby a bottle and as soon as I went to sit down to feed her...here they came, they were done playing in the snow already! Why do I always spend more time bundling them up than they actually spend outside playing?!?! Oh well, at least they enjoyed it for a few minutes.

Oh, and would you look at this...

Yes, those are EMPTY clothes baskets, my laundry is ALL done. Well the clothes are anyway. It's been so long since I have had ALL my clothes done that I just washed a pumpkin shirt...that hadn't been worn since Halloween!!!!

What I'm gonna miss...

2008-12-12T23:51:00.004-05:00

Time for Pam's You're Gonna Miss This Moment once again. I missed last weeks and the week before so I've missed that for sure! I've had lots of moments that I will miss but didn't write them down :( so now I can't remember them. But here is what I will miss tonight.Tonight the girls went to bed really late, as is becoming the norm for weekends, but they were still in the bed talking and giggling (that was a previous YGMT, that I will miss the giggles). So I went in there and sat with them for a while. I was telling them they need to get their room cleaned up before Christmas because Santa sure wouldn't leave many presents if he saw how messy their room is. So they were talking about how many, "maybe only 2 or 3 or maybe even just 1". Well that wasn't the way I wanted the conversation to go! So I told them that I thought 3 presents was a good number for Santa to bring since that's how many Jesus got when he was born (I am borrowing that idea from someone else but can't remember who it was that said it, Thanks if it was you). You would have thought I had said 30 gifts each, lol. Both of their eyes lit up and they both said YEA! Then Elianna started asking how many she got on her birthday, lol. I told her her birthday was different than Jesus' birthday, she said "yea, cause we don't have cake or anything", lol. I said well we could, I said I thought that was a good idea to make a cake or cupcakes and write Happy Birthday Jesus on it on Christmas morning. They LOVED that idea too. I'll really miss the excitement they show toward the little things, I really hope they never loose that though. I'll also miss, when they are grown and out of the house, getting to go sit with them in their beds just chatting. Oh, and the hugs and kisses, I got LOTS of them tonight while I sat with them in the bed, I will definetly miss those. For more You're Gonna Miss This Moment go visit Pam's blog.

I am really striving hard to not make Christmas about the gifts they get this year. We haven't went to all the "santa" things (breakfast with santa, special trip to the mall to visit him, etc) this year like we usually do and although I thought we would really miss them and feel like we were skipping a big part of Christmas, we really haven't. We are planning to go to at least 1 Christmas program at one of the churches in the area (our's doesn't have one, we really don't have enough people, it's just a small church). And we are going to be going to 2 Christmas parties that friends are having for the kids, and of course both girls will have class parties at school. So we have plenty to do without getting overwhelmed with SO much. They both know that we celebrate Christmas because of Jesus, I just want that to be a much bigger part of Christmas this year. And really, I just want this Christmas to be simpler, more about the important things. I am also trying really hard to not make Christmas about money, how much we spend on gifts for people. I always seem to stress over that part. This year we are making a good bit of our gifts. I sometimes find my mind drifting to what else could I get xxx, me making this for them just isn't enough. But you know, it really is enough. The girls have been working on gifts and they are LOVING it. They kept asking tonight, when can we sew? lol. Yes I am really letting them sew (simple things), even Elianna who is not even 4 yet, and surprisingly enough, she does quite well, they both did much better than I expected. I'll be sure to get pictures and show them of the gifts we are making. I am excited to see peoples reactions. Hopefully I can get everything I have planned finished in time.

Been meaning to...

2008-12-07T21:49:00.003-05:00

A while back I was tagged by Jen at Against All Odds To find the forth picture in the forth folder, post it and explain it. I was all excited about this until I went to the picture files. The first I went to under My Pictures, the forth file only had 2 picture. So I went to "Sarah's" files (that's the place I use to save pictures) and the picture isn't one I took, heck it's not even of one of my girls :( But I will post it anyway.

This is a picture that was emailed to me back in 2006. This is my DH's, step dad's, daughter's daughter. SFIL (step father in law) didn't even know this daughter of his existed till about 7 years ago. One day she just contacted him and said you might be my father, they met, he and her look just alike, she met the family, she was VERY friendly and everyone liked her and welcomed her into the family...except MIL! MIL was jealous of her for some unknown reason. She would contact her behind SFIL's back and say really mean things to her and overall just treated her like crap. Finally the long lost daughter just quit calling and coming around MIL and SFIL. MIL would always try to act like the victim by saying things to me about how she doesn't understand why she ever wanted to meet SFIL if she didn't want to be a part of the family and that she didn't understand why she wouldn't come around...she didn't know that I knew the things she had said to her in private. I use to keep in touch with her and she would send me pictures of her little girl all the time but then she moved to Florida. I still get emails from her every once in a while but not often. ANYWAYS, this is her little girl Hailey, who was absolutely cute as a button with big pretty eyes and long beautiful hair, on her first day of dance class :)

Something else I have been meaning to do is post the words to this song that I posted a while back. I realized when I replayed it that you really can't hear the words too well, and they are worth hearing/reading. I just LOVE this song!! I really am going to have to buy this CD.

Here's the video of the song

Here's the words:
"A Baby Changes Everything" by Faith Hill

Teenage girl, much too young
Unprepared for what's to come
A baby changes everything

Not a ring, on her hand
All her dreams and all her plans
A baby changes everything
A baby changes everything

The man she loves she's never touched
How will she keep his trust
A baby changes everything
A baby changes everything

And she cries, oh she cries

She has to leave, go far away
Heaven knows she can't stay
A baby changes everything

She can feel it's coming soon
There's no place, there's no room
A baby changes everything
A baby changes everything

And she cries and she cries O she cries

Shepherds all gather 'round
Up above the star shines down
A baby changes everything

Choir of Angels sing
Glory to the newborn king
A baby changes everything
A baby changes everything
Everything, everything, everything

Hallelujah, Hallelujah
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

My whole life is turned around
I was lost and now I'm found
A baby changes everything
A baby changes everything

I'm getting frustrated!!!

2008-12-05T17:31:00.003-05:00

UPDATE: I kinda feel bad for this post so had to update. Dr. L who I asked for help with my class schedule emailed me TODAY...on a SUNDAY, he really must have been busy last week. And the other guy, well...I realized after I wrote this post that....the email I sent him never went through. So I sent it again and am hoping to hear from him tomorrow or at least this week. I know they are both good people who are really willing to help me I was just getting frustrated because I feel like I am at a standstill with not much time left.

I just need to vent a minute! I am HOPING to start back to school in January. Classes start January 12th so just over a month. Yet I still don't know if everything is going to work out or not. Because I am over the number of hours for finacial aid (student loans is all we qualify for) I need the one guy in the education department to fix my degree audit. I have called the office several times, he always either has someone in his office or he's out at the moment. I have left messages a couple of times with the one girl who sounds young, she's probably a student. Yet he has never called me back! Finally I emailed him. Then I am really needing to go ahead and schedule my classes before the ones I need are filled up and I am left with nothing to take. So I contact my advisor, called, he was out of town so they tell me to email him. I do, he sends me a quick message saying he doesn't have time to look at it right then but he would for sure on Thursday and/or Friday. Well here it is almost 6 pm on Friday, no calls or emails from either one of them!! I am just frustrated. Both of the men I am refering to were so nice and willing to help me however they could back a couple months ago when I first contacted them. UUUGGGHHHHH!

2 posts from me in one day...can you believe it?!?! Well now I am off to START my Christmas shopping.

Traumatizing accident...or maybe not.

2008-12-05T09:43:00.003-05:00

Yesterday on the way to school someone hit the side of Bethanie's school bus. The school called on my way to pick Elianna up and left a message telling us the accident happened and that all the kids were checked by the school nurse and everyone was fine. So I just let it go. Then a little over an hour before she got home I started to worry. Bethanie has only been in one car accident and that was back when I was pregnant with Elianna, I was stopped at a stop sign, thought the car in front of me had gone, took my foot off the break and rolled into the car in front of me, it was SO minor that she didn't even know it happened but the cops had to be called because it left a pencil sized dent in the other guys bumper and he had just gotten the car. I doubt she even remembers it. So I worried, almost called and asked her teacher how she had acted all day (thinking she may have been distracted and worried all day) but decided I wouldn't call till after she got home. She comes home, I was waiting at the door for her, here's how our conversation went:

Me: So how was your day?
B: Good
Me: anything exciting happen?
B: XXXX's birthday, we had a party!
Me: Oh, how exciting! Anything else?
B: I buyed presents (at Santa's secret shop that they had going on this week and she got them out to show me what she got for everyone)
Me: Is that all that happened? (realizing she wasn't traumatized like I was worried she was going to be)
B: YYYEEEEAAAA? (thinking hard)
Me: How about on your way to school this morning?
B: (thinking hard for a moment, then her face lights up with a HUGE smile) Somebody hit the side of the bus!!!! (like it was the most exciting thing that had happened all year)
Me: Did it scare you?
B: NO!! (in a "are you crazy mom" kinda voice)
Me: Did you feel it hit the bus?
B: No, but we heard it, it was a loud CCRRRRRRRRUUNNNNNNCCCCHHHHHHH! The police had to come and we had to be quiet while we waited for him to get there.
Me: So it didn't scare you at all?
B: NNNOOOO!

So every things fine, wasn't traumatizing like I had thought, I worried for nothing. THANK GOD it was just a very mild accident and everyone was fine but I sure hope and pray it never happens again, no matter how exciting it was for the kids.

This post is for Lori!

2008-12-01T19:52:00.007-05:00

Lori at TAFKA requested ideas for Christmas themed craft ideas to do with her boys. WOOOHOOO right up my ally (however I am failing miserably as a babysitter because I couldn't tell you the last time we did a craft at my house :( maybe this will get me motivated)

Have you ever visited the Family Fun web site? They have a TON of crafts, recipes, fun ideas, printables...anything to make family life fun ;D

So here are a few of my favorites ~ just click the picture to go to the instructions.

My girls have never made these yet but they LOVE using a hole punch because of Polar Express (think of the tickets) so I am sure they would love these.

These don't look that cute but just using holiday color beads would be cuter. And I know for my kids (the ones I babysit, in Sunday School/Bible school, and Girl scouts) concentrating on putting beads on a pipe cleaner or sting, keeps them VERY quiet and still for quite a while :)

We have never tried these either but I think they are REALLY cute! I even saw them on some other web site where they cut out words and strung them together for a garland and it was CUTE!

These are much cute, IMO, painted red, and you can put their names and the year on them when they are finished.

I think these are cute. Have you ever heard of the Jesse Tree? These would be perfect for this.

Here are a few cards but the idea doesn't have to be used for a card, just on paper would be cute too.

Another hand print idea, which I could not find a picture of, is for a reindeer. You can use paint and actually do prints OR you can just trace on construction paper and cut it out (good cutting practice for them :) ) Do one foot print for the face and 2 hands for the antlers, then a red pom-pom for the nose and wiggly eyes.

Another thing the kids love to do is give them a big piece of green construction paper and let them cut out a tree (fold paper in half and cut on fold, you can even just draw a simple triangle for them to cut out). Give them glue and little pompoms, glitter, stickers, cereal, etc. and let them decorate their tree.

For food there are these ideas. We make these at Christmas party about every year but we use just round regular sugar cookies. You can also make them with cupcakes using chocolate icing on top with the same features as the cookie.

I think these are adorable, and quick and easy to make!

Oh and you can't forget the gingerbread houses and stuff. You can do the actual gingerbread ones.

And these trains are SOOOOO cute, especially for boys

Or here is an easier house using Graham crackers and all the goodies, including people and reigndeer, to go along with the house

Or the un-edible variety

Well I had planned to find some other ideas to share as well from somewhere other than family fun but this is getting quite long so here are some places I go to for ideas

Kaboose

Free Kids Crafts

Creative Kids At Home

DLTK

The Craft Crow Blog

Crayola (I've never had much luck with the Crayola website, maybe it's just me, but it's not real user friendly but it looks like maybe they have changed it some so maybe it's better now)

I know there are more but this should get you started at least :D

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-28T02:36:00.002-05:00

Hope you all had a WONDERFUL day!!! We really, REALLY did, I have really enjoyed today.

Every year Thanksgiving is exhausting for us. All our family lives within 40 minutes of us and all expect us to come for dinner on Thanksgiving. Every year I kind of dread it, wishing there was some way to get around it but never finding a way. This year I was hoping my mom could do it on a different day. But then her DH's two kids made plans to come to town Thanksgiving evening, they wanted us all together, so we agreed. Our plans were Dinner at MIL sometime between 1 and 2. Mamaw's (my dad's mom's where my dad and other aunts, uncles, and cousins would be) at 5pm but had planned to arrive early to spend some time with them. Then off to mom's for dinner at 7. From the time all arrangments were made, I secretly dreaded it. I just don't enjoy the rushing, eating and leaving, on the road traveling from place to place all day. Then around Tuesday it came to me, Thanks to God, HOW BLESSED AM I!!! I have family living close and lots of it, they all love us enough that they WANT us to come over for dinner! We get to eat 3 wonderful meals in one day. I have a good vehicle to get us safely from one place to the other. I shouldn't dread it or get frustrated, I should just be Thankful, very, very THANKFUL. And so I decided from that point on I would be Thankful AND I would enjoy the day to it's fullest. And I did. Yes, I am exhausted (Thanks to the Pepsi I am not sleeping yet though) and STUFFED but I did not feel stressed or even rushed today, I just felt loved and very very THANKFUL for all the Lord has given us. All the food was great and the time with all the family was wonderful. The girls were one their absolute best behaviour and had lots of fun.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!!!

Another great song!!

2008-11-25T12:26:00.002-05:00

My mom sent me this one in an email! Thanks Mom!!

In God We Still Trust by Diamond Rio. I went to a free Diamond Rio concert MANY years ago but haven't regularly listened to Country Music for quite a while even though I still like it. Enjoy this one, it's Great!!

I LOVE this song!

2008-11-24T11:01:00.003-05:00

No school today for either of the girls due to icey rain last night/early morning. Four kids here all day, Bethanie has been drawing and doing math problems (I think she is missing school but would never admitt to it), Elianna and Alyvia are playing nicely together (hope it continues), and the baby is sleeping. I decided to do some surfing (you know since the house is all sparkly clean, with no dirty clothes or anything, HAHAHAH) and ran across this song from Faith Hill. WOW! I have never posted a video before so hope it works. Enjoy!

WooHoo!!! Had to go to the help link but I figured it out!!!

You're going to miss this

2008-11-23T20:32:00.006-05:00

This week I thought I would write about something I already miss. Actually I hadn't really thought about it until lately and since then I have really been missing it. It's how simple life use to be. When I got married and even when I became pregnant with Bethanie, I was a full time college student and I worked full time as a manager at a fast food resturaunt, I was always on the go doing something. Then my pregnancy took a turn for the worse. Over the summer things continued to go down hill with my pregnancy and I ended up having Bethanie by emergency c-section at 27 weeks (13 weeks early) because of Preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome. She was born weighing 1 pound 12 ounces and only 12 1/2 inches long at a hospital 90+ minutes from our home. The next 3 months we lived at the Ronald McDonald house so we could be with her. Life was pretty simple at that time. We were staying in a house with 9-11 other families who were complete strangers but some became friends over time. There were only 2 tvs in the entire house, we didn't have one in our room. So we spent our days visiting Bethanie in the NICU during visiting hours, and during non visiting hours we would eat meals, sit on the lovely porch swing, take naps, make phone calls to update family (calls were limited though to 10 minutes), and I would pump. We went home a total of 2 times during her whole NICU stay. We had so many people help us out it was amazing. It was stressful though because as anyone who has went through an NICU stay knows it's a roller coaster ride with many up and downs, 1 step forward then 2 steps back the next day. When she would have good days, life was great, but on her bad days I would sit and cry. Finally after 85 days, 8 years ago this Wednesday to be exact, at 4 pounds even, we were finally able to bring her home. She came home on Oxygen through nasal canula and many medicines. We were also warned to keep her away from crowds, kids, or anyone who was or had been sick because if she were to get sick she would end up back in the hospital or even worse. It was decided then that I would HAVE to stay home with her. So at the moment we brought her home I officially became a Stay-at-home-mom, and I LOVED it!! My days were spent completely centered around her. I woke for the day when she woke up, I could nap if I was tired when she took a nap. At first it was a little stressful simply because I was completely in control of her care, and there was no nurse near by like there was in the NICU. But as time went on I grew more confident and she grew stronger, the oxygen was no longer required, and eventually she didn't even need meds anymore. Surprisingly she was VERY healthy. I spent my days holding her, singing and reading to her, and just enjoying the calmness that had become my life. After RSV season was over (mid April) I was able to take her out. We started off slowly but by summer we went anywhere and everywhere. Life was fun and simple. I so enjoyed that time with her. Then I became pregnant with Elianna, I am not real sure when exactly life quit being so easy and simple. It may have started when Elianna was born (full term 8 pounds 1 ounce by the way), I had the perfect pregnancy and family got to be there when she was born but shortly after being born her true personality started showing through, she cried ALOT, she wanted to nurse CONSTANTLY. Life was a bit harder, but I expected that, many people had warned me 2 kids is much harder then 1. But just as she started getting easier, Bethanie started Pre-k and I started babysitting for my cousin's little girl who is 2 months older than Elianna. Suddenly our go with the flow life style had come to an abrubt hult. Now we had to be on a strict schedule for the first time ever. Then my sister had her first baby and I agreed to babysit her as well. Then a friend needed a sitter for her 2 kids...I volunteered. At first it was fun, but man was I busy ALL THE TIME. Now here we are today, life is anything but simple getting 2 kids up and ready for school, having to drive one everyday both ways 15 minutes each way, plus babysitting. Then after school activities, and homework, then cooking dinner, and trying to keep the house from becoming a disaster zone. Now with just over a month left before I start back to college, and Elianna starts going full time to preschool, I often wonder how crazy it's going to be. But this weekend, other than going to church today, we had a "do nothing" weekend. That is rare for us these days but man it was nice. And it just made me remember how much I miss those SIMPLE DAYS of just being a SAHM.

For more You're Going to Miss This Moments, visit Pam at http://pramom26.blogspot.com/

I am ashamed of myself!

2008-11-20T22:16:00.002-05:00

This evening I threw a complete temper tantrum. I was not proud of it but I was so completely beyond frustrated with the old Frog, aka my DH, and that stupid World of War Craft game. Tonight was the Christmas parade in town. My Girl Scout troop decided to take part in it so I had to be at the meeting place by 5. So I am trying to get ready. I needed to find Bethanie and I some Christmas hats to wear so I needed to get up in the attic to get into the Christmas decorations. I get the baby to sleep (my sister's baby who I babysit for) but as soon as I go to lay her down she wakes up. So I let her play, ask DH to watch her and head to the bedroom. She starts fussing, I yell into to him asking if he could please deal with her so I can finish getting our stuff together. She continues to cry. Finally I get mad and go get her. I sit down and try to get her to go to sleep again. She did but again she woke up as soon as I layed her down. This time I put her in the swing in hopes that she would go back to sleep. She started fussing when she saw me come back into the room to get something. I again ask him to deal with her so I can finish getting ready. Then she starts crying, a minute or so goes by and he's not responding to her, a few more minutes and she is still crying he's still too busy playing that game. Finally I go in there, grab her out of the swing and tell him "This is the reason I always leave here on Thursdays furious at you." In a not so nice tone. He screamed at me (I couldn't tell you the last time we actually fought, especially in front of the kids but tonight I just couldn't take it anymore.) Told me it was my fault she was fussing because I had come into the room. Why she was fussing wasn't even the point it was that he wasn't helping me at all as usual! So I take her in the room with me, get my clothes changed, get the girls all ready, then I take her back into the living room with him so I can make the hot chocolate for the GS after the parade. I told the girls to get their shoes and coats on. Elianna starts crying because she can't find her shoes, The baby is crying again because she is just tired and wanting to be held. I finally just joined in with them and started crying too because there he still sat playing that game. I get so mad I yell at Elianna (which didn't help matters because it just made me feel even worse), start throwing stuff looking for Elianna's shoes, slam the door a few times, kick something out of my way on the floor. Finally, he helped...he got one of the girls coats down on the coat rack for them....I was in shock that his behind was off the couch! I finally finish getting our stuff together and take the kids to hook them in the van. I had forgotten my coat so I go back in the house, I told him I appreciate the little that he did do to help me but wished it didn't take me throwing a temper tantrum to get him to finally do it. Then I told him I despised that game and that I completely hated it ( I do not use "hate" often, I am trying to get Elianna to think of it as a bad word because I don't like hearing it come out of her mouth so I have been very careful not to say it lately). Then I left, got in the van and cried over half the way to the parade because I was so ashamed of how I acted in front of my girls. I told them I was really sorry, we went to the parade and we had a good time. After the parade we go out to eat. We finally got home at almost 9:30 and guess what the old frog was doing???? You guessed it.....still playing that game!!

I think the old frog has a very addictive personality. He gets hooked on something and it becomes the most important thing to him. Right now that thing is his game. I know I should be thankful that it is only his game, I know there are a lot worse things in this world to be addicted to that could easily tear our family apart. But I do really hate that game. This is how things go almost EVERY night. He gets home from work around 3:30, comes in takes off his coat, gets him something to drink, takes his boots and socks off. Then he takes his pants off and spends the evening in his boxers. Then he sits down on the couch, grabs his laptop, puts on his earphones and starts playing. He does NOTHING else the rest of the evening 'cept sit on the couch and play that game until it's time for him to go to bed. He turns it off and goes to bed, seriously no more than 5 minutes between the time the game is off and he is asleep. Any time I try to talk to him I usually end up saying something to him 2 or 3 times before he finally hears me. If I really need him for something, I have to wait till he is at a stopping point. Yet he doesn't understand why I get so frustrated at him. I believe he got that game back in April, maybe May and everyday but 2 has been just like I explained above. One was because the games server was down, can you say grouch city for him that night. The other night was because he had worked 16 hours that day, he came home and went right to bed. On the rare chance that he gets a day off, he is up for less than 5 minutes before he is right back at playing it. He is missing out on SO much yet I just can't get that through to him. Sometimes I wonder just how much longer I can take it. I have considered "accidentally" falling with a huge glass of something, spilling it right on his laptop. Or taking the thing and throwing it outside while he is at work. But I know all those things will just make things even worse.

Please, if you will, say a prayer for us, for our marriage, for him that he will open his eyes and see all that he is missing, and for me that I can make it through this. If you're still here reading this, THANK YOU for letting me pour my frustrations out on you.

Everybody wants to be a doughnut...

2008-11-17T22:26:00.004-05:00

or a hot dog...

or a fork.....

Not sure where this came from but this is what Elianna was singing on her way to school today, lol. And let me tell you it was cracking her up even more than it was me ;D

Old pictures but the best ones I could find in a hury for portraying her silly faces.

You're going to miss this....

2008-11-15T14:29:00.008-05:00

Today as I am working hard to get the dining room/living room cleaned (making room for the Chirstmas Tree, yipee!!) the girls are suppose to be in their room cleaning it up. I really don't like making them clean their room because it always gets so messy and them cleaning it always results in them fighting and me yelling at them way to much. Today has not been much different although I have decided I am not going to yell, I have made it clear to them that if they don't get it cleaned today we will not be able to get the Christmas tree out of the attic (the entrance to the attic is in their closet), the next 3 weekends we have plans so if we don't do the tree tomorrow it won't get done for several weeks. Does it help....well of course not, lol. They get workind really hard for a few minutes after I remind them, then they go right back to playing or fighting because Elianna won't help. But as I was putting more clothes into the washer all I could hear coming from the room was laughter, both of them laughing so hard. UUGHHHH, I got frustrated, why won't they keep on task and get the darn room cleaned up, but then....I got a huge smile on my face and tear in my eye...Oh, someday I KNOW I am really, REALLY going to miss that laughter coming from their room. Now back to work for me, after all I probably am going to have a little girls bedroom to clean when I am done with the living/dining room :)

For more You're Going To Miss This Moment posts go to: http://pramom26.blogspot.com/

Veteran's Day

2008-11-11T22:47:00.003-05:00

To all Veteran's, whether you actually served or were the spouse or parent who supported those serving this country... THANK YOU!!!

At Bethanie's school each year they have a big Veteran's Day assembly. I had never been to it till this year. This year my Girl Scout troop got to participate. They, along with all the other scouts in the school, got to help with the flags. I was so proud watching her, wearing her GS uniform for the first time, walk in right along side a boy caring a flag. All the scouts had a look of such pride to be able to help with such an important assembly. This assembly turned out to be much, MUCH more than I ever thought it would be. After the scouts brought the flags in and put them in their proper stands, every one attending stood and re-sighted the Pledge Allegiance to the Flag. Hearing all those voices, the children's echoing above the adults, in unison saying the pledge made my heart swell and brought tears to my eyes. A little later in the program, an invocation was given by a boy in 5th grade. The words he spoke to God were amazing...to be coming from a 5th grader at a PUBLIC school...it was just wonderful to hear! I went to high school with both his mom and dad, I can only imagine the immense pride they felt hearing him lead this whole gymnasium full of people in such an eloquent prayer. Then they honored the veterans that had been invited. Through out the program the 5th grade chorus performed 3-4 songs about America including the National Anthem. I was very pleasantly surprised at how great they sounded, it did not sound like a group of 10-11 year olds, they really sounded VERY good. Toward the end, they played a slide show of some of the students reading thank you notes that they had written with pictures of MANY veterans from our area, included in those pictures were my papaw "Popsie", one of my uncles, a cousin, and a cousin-in-law. My eyes feeled up with tears when I saw Popsie's picture pop on the screen, I could just picture him being there (he passed away in 2002), his eyes filled with tears, and the pride that would have been flooding his heart. I am so glad I went today, I was VERY impressed that an elementary school could put on such a great assembly honoring those who served this great country. And I was even more impressed by ALL 800+ students from grades preschool to 5th and how well behaved they were through the 90 minute program.
And Again....Thank You Veterans and those still serving!!

You're Going to Miss This....Moment

2008-11-09T23:37:00.003-05:00

Can you believe it 2 posts from me in one night!! A few weeks ago I ran across this blog called You're Going To Miss This...Moment http://pramom26.blogspot.com/ I have really been enjoying reading her once a week Blog Carnival by the same name as her blog. It has caused me to many many times since finding it think to myself...I'm really going to miss it when.... or when something reminds me of the past to think...I reall miss.... So although I have thought up posts for weeks now that I could share on her carnival, I decided this week I WILL do it, then my internet wouldn't work last night so I am a day late but anyway.......

Two things this week have reminded me of things I am going to miss. In general I am going to miss my girls being toddlers. I don't plan to have anymore children so I will most likely never be a MOM to a toddler ever again and that makes me sad. This weeks reminders are one thing I miss the most, the things they use to say.

The other day I was looking for something in my jewlery box and found a necklace that Bethanie had gotten out of a bubble gum machine when she was about 2. It's a silver necklace that says Hottie. Now normally, I would have just threw it away, IMO no 2 year old should be considered a Hottie or even know what that word means BUT for Bethanie, it was perfect. See, at that time, Bethanie had a fasination with horses. She couldn't say horse though and her word for them was Hotties, lol. When she got that necklace and I told her what it said, she was so excited! I didn't let her wear into public but the whole family got a big kick out it. Finding that necklace brought back that memory.

This picture is of Bethanie right after her second birthday. Yes, it was her SECOND birthday, she didn't have much hair yet and was really small, she still didn't even weigh 20 pounds yet.

Bethanie was probably about 3 in this picture but I just had to share it too. When I was searching for that rocking horse picture I found this one. It reminded me of how much she LOVED that toy snake and those snow boots (notice she doesn't have a coat on and the grass is really green so it couldn't have been winter, lol). The snake she got when we went to a little farm festival. They had a booth set up selling all kinds of home made beanie baby animals. I let Bethanie pick out which ever one she wanted, they had a ton of animals in all kinds of bright colors...Bethanie picked that snake and you can't tell by the picture but it was shiney gray and black on the front side. She would even sleep with that silly snake, she LOVED it.

Now on to Elianna...the memory that came to me about things she use to say came when the lady bugs came back last week. When she was 2 (that was just last year but seems SO long ago) she use to call lady bugs...Teddy Bugs, lol. It got to the point that we ALL called them that. She had a love/hate relationship with those stinking teddy bugs. Late fall every year we get them really bad, and they like to get into our bathroom. Elianna loved to let them crawl on her and she would sit and watch them crawl around for long periods of time BUT if one would fly, she would freak out, I mean start histarically crying TEDDY BUGS GET ME. But as soon as they would land...she would be right back to loving them again. Now she seems to just ignore them.

Look at those dimples and chubby cheeks!!

Here she is feeding her baby pig, and oh yea...that's a piggy BANK, lol. I will definitely miss it if she ever quits being such a mommier. Thankfully she still feeds all her babies, only now she breast feeds them instead of sharing her sippy cups, lol.

Oh, I just miss them being little! But we have alot of fun at the ages they are now as well, I just wish they wouldn't grow up SO fast!!!!

I can't seem to get the little You're Going To Miss This Moment button to post on here, it may have to do with my mouse acting up. When I click on something it's like I click twice instead of once. Am I doing it right...I right click on the button on her blog, click copy, then come to my post, right click again and click paste. Will someone please tell me if I am doing it wrong? Thanks for doing this carnival Pam, I really enjoy it and it reminds me to enjoy the moments we are in now :)

Three months?!?!? And my personal goal for the month

2008-11-09T22:23:00.003-05:00

Wow I can not believe it has been that long since I have posted on my blog! Things are just really busy around here. I haven't been babysitting as much (I have felt SO less stressed, it's been really nice) I have my 2 nieces, ages 2 1/2 and 9 months, everyday. Then I have one other little girl every now and then. I have only had her 1 time in the past 2 weeks but usually it's a little more than that. Bethanie and Elianna are both in school...Bethanie in second grade and doing great! Elianna in preschool and really loving it. I have to take her everyday then go back and pick her up about 2 1/2 hours later...15 minute trip each way. The baby naps both trips so then she is awake almost the whole time when we are at the house, so I get very little done. After the kids leave for the day, we get homework done, cook dinner, bathes, reading, and most of the time, the day is over! After the girls are in bed, I am usually SO tired, I do a little around the house, do some reading online, and then I hit the sack only to get back up the next day and do it all over again...but I wouldn't have it any other way. Last month we finished up soccer, both Bethanie and Elianna played for the first time, on seperate teams. That sure kept me hopping. Oh, and I forgot to mention trying to get all the "details" worked out for going back to school, making a million phone calls, filling out a bunch of paper work for finacial aid (student loans), and just trying to get things figured out. That scares me to death but I am beyond excited to get back.

Now for my real reason for posting~my personal goals for November. Since I will be quiting babysitting when I start back to school in January and we will be paying more for Elianna to go full days to preschool (most likely depending on my classes), things will be a bit tight so to help get us ready for it, I am planning to make all the Christmas gifts we give this year (other than the girls, they want bunk beds and I don't think I could make those and feel safe about them, lol). So my goal is to work on some craft project each evening, get the things I have already promised done first then get the gifts started. I am excited, I just hope all the ideas I have in my head come out as nicely as I have invisioned. Then I will try (really hard) to post pictures here of all that I got done for the week. So help me out...If next monday comes and I haven't posted ask me...help keep me accountable for my goals! Thanks! Now I am off to make another post for tonight.

I know I have to do it, but I am not feeling good about it at all!!

2008-08-04T11:34:00.003-04:00

Elianna, (huge sigh) Elianna I really don't know what I am going to do with this child. For one thing she is very strong willed child and she is going to be the life of me....she's only 3...what am I going to do when she is a pre-teen...or worse a TEENAGER. Heck what is it going to be like when she starts school??? Will I be going to the school everyday because she won't behave?

I know a family closely that has a little girl the same age as Bethanie. When she was younger, she misbehaved ALOT. She would scream at her mom, she would do things that she knew she wasn't alowed to do, she would sneak and get into things that were not hers or that could hurt her (such as vitamins, she got into them at least twice, once eating over half of a large bottle of gummy bear vitamins). I remember being on the phone or being around them and thinking they just need to discipline her and be consistant. The mom would constantly threaten conciquences, but never follow through. If she did follow through, like making her stand in the corner, she wouldn't pay close enough attention and the girl would sneak out and the mom wouldn't notice or make her get back in the corner if she did.

Bethanie was, and still is, always very well behaved!!! Thank GOD! Then I had Elianna...from the very beginning she was LOUD and cried alot, the mom I mentioned would always tell me "she reminds me SO much of "sis". WHAT??? no way, maybe as a baby but she will NOT act like sis when she gets older. A few days ago when I talked to her on the phone, she said it again..."She reminds me so much of sis at that age". It kills me to hear that! And it reminded me of all the empty threats that I heard that mom throw out when sis was around Elianna's age. Am I guilty of that??? I know it doesn't work, kids won't take you serious if you threaten but never do whatever it is that you threaten to do. So that leads us (finally) to the point of the title of this post...

Yesterday Elianna was horrible, several times through out the day she screamed at me (which I absolutely HATE!!!!! I feel so disrespected by my own child when she does it) and I thought I have got to do something to make her realize that I am serious when I say not to scream at me. So I told her she had 3 chances, if she screamed at me or completely defied what I tell her 3 times, she would not get to go to the fair on Monday. She had been really excited about going after we saw some of the rides being set up on Saturday. Well it lasted probably less than 2 hours from when I told her about the 3 chances. So tonight, to show her I am serious, Bethanie and I along with my sister and 2 neices, are going to the fair. Elianna gets to stay home with her daddy. She already doesn't like it but I can only imagine what it's going to be like when we actually leave. And let me tell you...it is killing me, I can feel the tears coming to my eyes as I write about it. I even gave her another chance last night, her and Bethanie got upset that Elianna wasn't going to be allowed to go today, Elianna told me she would be good, she promised. I told her she had one more chance. If she was good, I would go ahead and let her....about 10 minutes later, she screamed at me because she didn't want to go to bed, I reminded her about her promise of being good, so she hit me (I hate that just as bad as the screaming). So she is NOT going! I want my girls to have fun, to have great memories of their childhood, but it's no fun to any of us when her and I are constantly battling.

So tonight Bethanie and I will be going to the fair and we WILL have fun. Hopefully Elianna will understand and her behaviour will improve at least a little, so that we can all go to the fair at least one day this week. I hope if I see anyone I know at the fair that they don't ask where Elianna is, I would hate to start crying at the fair...oh or feel like the worst mom in the world!

Hair bow options

2008-08-01T21:15:00.003-04:00

Here are the options for types of clips to put them on

Alligator clip

French clip

hair bands (for pony/pig tails)

Or I can put them on a strtchy lace head band for babies without much hair.

And the winner is......

2008-08-01T20:14:00.005-04:00

It's the end of the Bloggy Giveaway carnival! So I go to have ONE of the girls pick a number out of a shoe box and they both wanted to...ok, I gave in, so we have TWO winners instead!!!!!

Here's all the #'s in a box, do you see yours?

I shook the box up real good, had the girls close their eyes Elianna picked:
#47 Gina

and Bethanie picked:

#49 Karen of Sillymonkeez

Congrats to both!!! Please give me a little while to get the bows done after contacting you both. This coming week is going to be a BUSY one, I am not sure I will be able to get them done but I will get them done as soon as I can.

Thanks to all of you for commenting!! I have really enjoyed reading your comments and your blogs (for those with blogs).

Bloggy Giveaway Carnival

2008-07-29T23:30:00.005-04:00

Since I have discovered the Bloggy Giveaway Carnival at http://www.donttrythisathome.typepad.com/bloggy_giveaways/ I have really enjoyed myself going through some (not enough hours in the day to go through all of them) of the giveaways and entering to win a bunch of great stuff but I have felt bad that I was entering but not giving so decided I would try it.

I will give away a set of corker hairbows that I will make. Similar to the ones in the picture below. I will let the winner choose between a smaller pair or one larger bow. And I will also allow the winner to have some choise (from what I have on hand) in the colors of the hairbow(s).

To win simply leave a comment and let me know what color combinations your child wears the most. Anyone can win. Make sure there is a way to contact you if you are the winner. I will have one of my girls pick a number on Friday, August 1, 2008. Good Luck!

And for many, many, MANY more great giveaways visit http://bloggygiveaways.com/

Today is...

2008-07-24T10:41:00.002-04:00

My birthday! I am 34 today, I still feel young. So far today my sister brough me doughnuts this morning when she brought her kids, my favorite kind ;D they were YUMMMMMMY but I am sure not helpful on this road to loosing weight but oh well, you only have one birthday a year, right. I asked Elianna and Alyvia (my oldest niece) if they knew who's birthday was today. Alyvia yelled out "It MY birfay!!" followed by her jumping up and down saying it over and over again,lol. Then Elianna said "It Mommy's?" I just smiled real big at her and she said "I wanna buy mommy a dwess". I said ok then told her to ask Daddy for the money for it, lol. But she didn't like that (probably because daddy is at work and when she wants something she wants it NOW if not sooner) and said "No, mommy give me money!" In her usual demanding tone of voice.

My neices are the only kids I have today, other than my own of course. And it's a BEAUTIFUL day so we are headed to the park for a picnic lunch. I should have some pictures to share later today.

Me playing around and chores for the girls

2008-07-22T00:47:00.006-04:00

For Mother's Day DH bought me Photo Shop Elements. I had been wanting something like it for a while but never knew which program would be easy enough, yet still do some of the "special" stuff that I was wanting it to. I haven't done a whole lot with it yet (just finally got it loaded on the computer about 2 weeks ago) but tonight I played around with it a bit. Here are some things I did.

This is the original picture

I just loved how "old fashioned" looking this water fountain looked so here are some things I did with the picture.... First turned it black and white then brought out the colors in the tiny flag and the fountain.

Then I really played around with the colors. I think I like this one best.

This one I didn't do tonight, I did it quite a while back when I had the free 30 day trial of PSE so I could see if it was for sure what I wanted. When I figured out how easy this was I was convinced. I had wanted to do this to my own photo's since Sears Portraits did this to a picture of Bethanie when she was 3. I think if I softened this picture a bit, it would make it even better. I just have to figure out how to do that now.

This one was really cool bringing the color out in it. To see it go from B&W to the bright colors of the rainbow and the girls skin and swim suits was like that one commercial on TV. This pic makes me think....Children bring color to our world :)

So the girls started doing chores tonight. I had wanted to start them at the beginning of summer but seemed like there was always something going on and the time never seemed right. So today Elianna put the clothes from the washer into the dryer. Both girls dried the dishes. And while I played with the pictures above, Bethanie washed the dishes from dinner. The funny thing about it...THEY LOVED IT...you would have thought they were given a new game to play. They even started to fight a little because they both wanted to dry the dishes :D I gave them both a towel and they went at it like it was the best game ever. WOO HOO, now if only their excitement for chores will last :) So why is it that all these years I have been doing it all????? Silly me, I could have been laying back, eating bonbons, watching my favorite tv shows instead, lol.

I'm SOOOO ticked off...

2008-07-20T15:52:00.002-04:00

at my husband, the old frog!!! I usually don't vent about him on here but today I just have to! This week has been so busy for me and my girls. We had bible school at our church, I helped out ALOT with decorating, crafts, snacks, and I taught 2 nights. I only saw DH pretty much in passing the whole week. Then yesterday we (not him, he spent the day at home playing his game) went over 2 hours away to the Creation Museum (very, VERY cool place but PACKED on Saturdays) to wrap up the week of Bible school. Dh had gotten free tickets to a Cincinnati Reds game for Sunday (today). All week I had dreaded it, I knew I was just going to be really tired and didn't like the idea of driving over 2 hours each way again after just doing it on Saturday, also I was frustrated at him because everyday this week he had done something that he KNOWS I hate (I won't get into what IT is because that would just lead to this post being MUCH too long). BUT when I asked him a few times through the week about what day/days we were going (he got tickets for next weekend too) he kept saying he wanted to go to both. No hesitation, he acted like he was looking forward to it. So I sucked it up and actually started looking forward to it, after all it was going to be just me and him, a day with no children after a week centering around them, it would be a nice break, I was just going to over look the IT that he did all week.

We got home late last night, after midnight after a nonstop day of the museum, wet playground, walk by the lake to feed the geese, Chuckee Cheese, then the long drive home. Had to completely inconvenience my mom (who went with us yesterday) to take the girls home with her to spend the night. I was TIRED. But I set the alarm to get up early today. I SO didn't want to get up when it went off but I did. I took a shower, shaved my legs (I don't do this nearly as often as I should), got all lotioned up, and he came to the door. We ended up "spending some time together" and it was great. As he was walking out of the room I asked "so what time are we leaving?" and his response..."I don't really feel like going." WHAT???? he said it wasn't that he didn't WANT to, it was that we really didn't have the money to go. I tell him I already filled the van up with gas and I had some cash left over. He said he would rather save the gas and save the money for next weekend because he was really wanting to go to the night game. I told him I would be getting paid for babysitting before next weekend so I would have extra money. Nah, it had nothing to do with the money...he just didn't want to go, he wanted to stay home and play that stupid game of his (world of warcraft, I am REALLY growing to HATE that game). After about 2 minutes of sitting in the bedroom thinking about how I really NEEDED this day with him, I went in to find him ALREADY playing his game and told him "let's just go, we already got gas, we got a babysitter, we can eat at McDonald's or somewhere else cheap, we can do it with out spending much money at all today. Then next weekend we can spend a little more money. I just want to spend the day with you." No! So then I got ticked, he was putting that STUPID game before me again, seems to be happening more and more here lately. I go in, have a little cry, decide it's a huge waist of $45 tickets for really good seats (he got them free from work) so I go ask him if he's sure we aren't going, he just gives me a look. So I call my dad, he's out of town, call my brother-in-law, he can't find anyone to go with him, so I give up. Matt says something about do you have the directions, me still fuming say why, that ticks him off, I said so are we going to go, and he snaps "if your going to act like this all day, I guess I am going to have to." Oh no! That just ticks me off EVEN worse than I already was. So I storm out of the room.

The more I thought about it the madder I got. So finally I went in and went off on him. Told him exactly how I felt about not really wanting to go at first but then looking forward to going so we would have an "US" day. I told him how frustrated I was at him for the IT he did all week but how I was willing to just let it go so we could have fun together. I told him if it wasn't for him doing that we would have had plenty of money to go. He tries to deny it saying he didn't spend any money for it, I KNOW he was lying and told him so, he didn't deny it, he knew he was caught. I got on the computer for a little while to calm myself down, then went in and layed in bed. I fell asleep, woke up and it was 2pm! I had slept for over 4 hours. Called my mom to tell her we didn't end up going and told her I would come pick the girls up in a little bit. I felt better after waking up, didn't feel as mad. I thought we can still do something so the "us" day isn't completely lost. So I go in where he is and ask him if he wants to go get something to eat. "No, I'm not hungry" UGH, "well we don't have to go right now", "nah, I don't want to". UUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! That just makes me mad all over again.

So I wait till I am not so mad and I leave to go pick up the girls. I kept thinking how, since he is such a butt, the girls and I will just go do something fun. I get to my mom's, walk in, Elianna sees me and says "uuuhhhh, I don't want to leave, mommy you leave, me stay here with mamaw". Bethanie doesn't want to leave either. Oh, I felt so loved and wanted today, NOT!!!! I seriously had to just walk out of the room and turn my head because I could feel tears coming to my eyes. Bethanie got her shoes on and went out when I said lets go, but Elianna well it was a battle, just as it usually is with her. She just kept crying and saying "I don't wanna go with you".

A couple miles down the road she fell asleep. Bethanie and I decide we want to go get something to eat and get ice cream. We get there and Elianna will not wake up. I ordered what I knew she would want then sat her down in a booth so I could carry the food. She screams. I fight with her for a few and finally am able to go get the food. Nothing made her happy, she didn't like the drink, she didn't want her hot dog on a bun, she wanted a spoon for her applesauce, etc. Finally she eats and starts acting better. Then it was time for ice cream. I give her the options for what she wants. She decides on a vanilla cone, I asked her a couple times if she was sure, told her what Bethanie and I were getting, yes, she still wanted a vanilla cone.....that is until she got it...."I don't want this, I want what Bethanie has" uugghhh.

As we were about to finish up Bethanie notices that the sky had turned really dark, she knew a storm was coming. She has recently developed a HUGE fear of storms, so she starts crying and pacing the floor. I gather up our left overs and trash so we can hurry up and get out of there before it starts raining. As soon as I was out on the road I knew I should NOT have left that building. It turned out to be a REALLY bad storm. The wind was blowing, the rain was coming down in sheets extremely hard. I was trying to listen to the radio to make sure there was no tornado warnings/watches but I guess the weather was so bad, the radio kept going to static when the weather advisories would come on. I had to pull over 4 times because it would get to raining so hard and the wind blowing that I couldn't see and didn't feel like I could control the van well enough. Bethanie in the mean time is all huddled in a little ball in her booster seat, with her head between her knees and her hands over her ears all while she is crying and rocking back and forth. I didn't let her see it but I was extremely SCARED too. There was a little pond a ways from the road in a field we passed (before the rain started coming so hard) that had WAVES, I mean it looked like the ocean the waves were so big, I had never seen anything like it. I reached back and held Bethanie's hand till the wind started blowing us so hard that I felt like I was loosing control. Finally we made it home, safe and sound. Bethanie and I cuddle on the couch to watch a movie all while DH is, 10 hours after he first started, STILL PLAYING THAT STUPID GAME!!!!! It was such a lovely day. The only good things....the snuggles with Bethanie and the Thin Mint GS cookie blizzard I got from DQ, YUMMMMY.

I just hope and pray that tomorrow is a better day.

What color should your blog be?

2008-07-16T12:04:00.002-04:00

Your Blog Should Be Blue
Your blog is a peaceful, calming force in the blogosphere.You tend to avoid conflict - you're more likely to share than rant.From your social causes to cute pet photos, your life is a (mostly) open book.

I found this on a blog I just happened to run across, thought it was fun. Try it for yourself...
http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyourblogorjournalbequiz/

July 4th Weekend!! What fun!

2008-07-07T00:06:00.004-04:00

Happy Birthday America (a little late)!! Me and the girls had a very nice weekend. The night before the girls had spent the night with my mom, I stayed up REALLY late then slept in (till almost 1pm :0 ) then I met my mom and the girls at my cousin Hannah's house for a cookout and fireworks. I was a little disappointed going into the 4th because we would be missing the big show of fireworks that they put on at the river bank, but then it rained almost all day so the big show was postponed, YEA. It cleared up long enough for the cookout and most of the fireworks at Hannah's. We had a good time but I forgot to take my camera :(

See these pots? I just love them! I bought cheap ($1 I think, maybe $2) stone colored plastic pots, cut stars out of contact paper, stuck them to the pots then spray painted them red and blue. I think they turned out SO cute!!

Here are a few pictures of the girls in the yard on Saturday.

I love this picture! Elianna was refusing to look at me, I was following her around with the camera, finally told her just look over your shoulder at me PLEEEEEASE, this is the results.
Deep thought or angry??? with Elianna it's hard to tell, lol.

Then on Saturday the 5th we spent the day at home till evening. DH, the girls, and I went to Gatty's for dinner. They have a GREAT all you care to eat pizza/salad/pasta buffet, they had my favorite-Buffalo chicken pizza-YUMMY! After we ate we played for a while in their game room. Then me and the girls headed down to the river bank to get ready for the fireworks. We were really early so we just enjoyed the lovely evening, we went across the street for ice cream, and took a nice walk. Although the temp was very mild, our ice cream melted VERY quickly and we all 3 ended up with it all over us. So we walked to the nearby retirement center. Outside they have a beautiful area with a gazebo, fountain, and lots of flowers and greenery. It's just lovely! I told the girls they could wash themselves off in the fountain. I meant for just their hands to get in the water BUT....

They hopped right into it, shoes and all! Elianna stayed where she was just getting sprinkled on, Bethanie went around to the other side where the water was pouring down and got soaked! I had already decided I was going to enjoy my evening...so I just laughed :)There was also this drinking fountain there, you had to push a foot pedal to make it work, Bethanie had to hop on the pedal with both feet and jump to make it work, she's such a skinny Minni! Elianna's not, but she couldn't get it to work at all, lol.

Then we went down to the river bank. This was before the show and before the rest of the family we were meeting arrived. The girls were having a good time playing and dancing to the music from a local band. It's funny that it looks like there is hardly anyone there, there was actually a pretty big crowd.

Bethanie took this picture of Elianna and I as we waited for the show to start, I just love it!!! She did a GREAT job!

And Elianna took this picture of Bethanie and I, lol. My hand is out like that because I was signaling and telling her to RAISE IT UP.

The fireworks show wasn't anything great, rather short and not too exciting actually. After they were over we went home and went to bed.

Today we got up, went to church, went to a birthday party for my nephew, Nicholas, who turned 10 today!!! Left there and headed back to church. After services we had a little get together with sandwiches, wraps, and chips followed by a meeting to get things all finalized for VBS that will be the next week after this one. While the women were inside for the meeting the kids were outside playing in their new HUGE "sandbox" (it's actually a volley ball court :) ). We finally got home at a little after 10. We are all exhausted but wishing the long weekend didn't have to end. I'm dreading going back to the same old, same old. Hope everyone else enjoyed their long weekend as much as we did :D

My silly girl!

2008-06-28T00:38:00.003-04:00

Here are a few pictures of Elianna outside today. Bethanie didn't want her picture taken in just her panties so I don't have any of her, I'll strive for that tomorrow :) Enjoy! She was simply being silly in this picture, lol.
This is the same child who JUST YESTERDAY screamed when I tried to pull water over her head in the bath.

And this is my lovable, adorable, extremely easy going 4 month old niece who is cutting a tooth and not fussing about it for a minute :)

What is wrong with me?!?!?!?

2008-06-23T23:18:00.002-04:00

Last night, as I sat here at the computer writing about how blessed I am and thinking about how truely thankful I am for those blessings Bethanie got up 3 or 4 times and came into the dining room. She was suppose to be in bed...asleep...obviously she wasn't. I yelled at her several times to go get back in bed, don't get up again. She wanted me to come lay with her, I kept telling her NO, not tonight. I was getting really frustrated with her. She doesn't usually act like that, it's Elianna I usually have the "getting out of bed" problem with. The thought kept coming to me, why is she doing this, why does she have to act this way when I am trying to blog, why does she have to bother me when I am trying to write about my blessings.......OMG, my biggest blessing and I am getting frustrated at her for BOTHERING me. What is my problem!?!?!?!?!? So I quickly finished my post, went and shed a few tears, then went and layed down with her. I told her how much I loved her, that I was terribly sorry for yelling at her. I told her how special she was to me, I hugged her and patted her back, and I watched her fall asleep. I then prayed like I said I was going to and I thanked God for the extra reminder of my blessings. And as I layed there in bed with her, trying to think of why she was so upset and having a hard time going to sleep. I remembered that she had watched Extreme Home Makeover (I was listening to it as I straightened up after dinner). The show last night was about a family who had taken in the sisters children after their mother was murdered. The one young girl was talking and crying about how she had been beside her father in the seat of the car during a wreck that took his life. Then when her mother and her boyfriend (who the children dearly loved) were murdered, this girl was the first to see them. I think, for Bethanie, letting her watch that was worse than watching a scary movie (which I do not allow). Movies are fake, THAT was a real person talking about the tragedy of loosing her parents. For a child I don't think there is much worse than the thought of loosing her Mommy or Daddy, not knowing what would happen to them if it were to happen, and think Bethanie may have been thinking about that last night as she tried to go to sleep :( I feel so bad that I didn't stop what I was doing and go be with her the first time she asked. Now I am off to go watch my two biggest blessings, my 2 princesses, sleep peacefully and thank God for them again.

I am blessed.....

2008-06-22T22:30:00.003-04:00

And this week I have been reminded of that in a few ways. First on Wednesday night as we sat in church 2 ladies came in, one VERY pregnant, they were asking for money. The pastor asked them to come in, sit down, listen to the message, and then they would discuss what they were needing. They did! Most people refuse to come into church for the church service, I don't know if they are too embarrassed or if their conscience just won't let them (do they REALLY need money for food or did they go blow their money on drugs or alcohol). So as the ladies sat through church listening to the pastor's message about the trials we all go through, the one lady sat there and cried. So after services were over the pastor went to talk to the ladies. They were from out of town (about 90+ minutes away), they had just been to their mother's funeral and were trying to get back home. They were low on money, needed gas, and were hungry. The pastor gave them some money. They Thanked him a million times. The one also said she had just recently moved to where they are now living because her house had burned and she lost everything. Also that evening right as church was ending a man came in asking for money, saying he was hungry. I didn't hear his full story, but to help him without taking the chance of him using the money for cigarettes, drugs, or alcohol, he was told to go to the local grocery store, give the pastor's name and they would provide him with some food. Both of these instances reminded me that I am blessed that I have never had to beg for money because I am hungry. I also know that if extreme hard times were to hit (and they can for anyone, I know that) I have a family, church family, and close friends who would be willing to help us so hopefully we would never have to turn to strangers.

Two other stories I heard about just this weekend of people overdosing on drugs and dying. Both were family or friends of people I know. I am blessed that neither I, my DH, nor anyone in my immediate family, has ever had such an addiction that it goes so far as to take their life away. I hope and desperately pray that my children, nor any of my nieces or nephews, or any other friend or family member EVER become drug users.

And finally their is the boy who prayer was requested for him. He is a young boy, around 9 years old. He body recently was "attacked" by a viral infection that went to his heart. When he was finally doing better and regaining his strength little by little, a brain tumor was discovered. His prognosis is NOT good, his family has to make the decision for him to go through surgery and further treatment and get a year or so more time with him or just give meds in the attempt to reduce his pain and let him die. I am blessed that I have never been faced with such terrible decisions to make. I am blessed to have 2 healthy girls who are full of life and fun and bring so much joy to my life.

As I head to bed tonight I will pray for the two women that life will get easier for them. I will pray for the man that things won't be so hard for him either, that he can get his life on the right track. And for the friends and family of the two who overdosed, that they will find comfort in this difficult time and that these deaths can be used as a teaching tool to others who may be headed down the same path or to the children who will have choices to make in the near future. And also for the young boy and his family that they will be led to make the best decision and never have regrets which ever choice they make, and if it be God's will that he will perform a miracle on this young boy. I will also many, many thanks to God for all the blessings I have.

11 Years~ AWSOME baby!!

2008-06-16T00:04:00.003-04:00

Saturday, June 14, Matt and I celebrated our 11th wedding anniversary. We had a nice day. My mom took the girls and kept them over night. Matt and I went out of town to eat at O'Charleys. Neither of us had ever been there but they have been having commercials on TV for there and what they showed looked SO Good so we decided to go. We get there and they are busy so we had to wait, it wasn't bad though only about 30-35 minutes. Then we are seated and our sever comes out and takes our drink order. Matt orders a drink and a water, I order a sweet tea. As she leaves the table she looks at Matt and says I'll get that right out for you BABY. WHAT?!?!?! I gave Matt a look and commented about her calling him baby. A few minutes later she comes out with his water and tells him it would be a minute on his adult drink. No mention what so ever about my tea. A few minutes later she comes back says she is still waiting on his drink but that she would go ahead and take our food order. I said...ummm, I never did get my tea. So she goes and gets it and instead of sweet tea...I got unsweet. At this point I was sure she was flirting with Matt. I think he got a kick out of the fact that I was acting on the side of jealousy (I am NOT a jealous person) we joked around about it a bit and got a few good laughs. We very quickly came to realize that she called EVERYONE baby, sweetie, honey, baby doll, babe, or some other affectionate name. It got a bit annoying but she was nice so we lived with it. Our appetizer had been cooked too long and didn't have much sauce on it but our main meal was DELICIOUS!!! I had planned to get desert but ate too much to have room so I got a piece of Ooey, Gooey, Carmel pie to take home with us. She gave it to us for free :) . And as we left Matt handed her the bill with the money in it, he told her the change was for her, she didn't even look to see how much but still said.....AWSOME BABY! lol. I told Matt I would be telling him that later that night. He laughed and later that night, just like I said, I did say it to him and we both got a good laugh out of it. We had a really good time, it's been so long since just the two of us have went out alone or even just spent time to gether without the kids. So to sum it up, it was..... AWSOME BABY!

NOT a good day!

2008-06-08T12:57:00.002-04:00

A couple weeks ago my girls came in the house all excited because "we found BABY KITTIES". Sure enough one of the stray cats that had been staying at our house had had kittens. I don't know if the mother cat moved the kittens or if they had been there all along but the kitten were in the corner of our carport inside DH's extra 4 wheeler tires. When they found the kittens they were big enough to walk around and we even fed them that night. I figured they were at least 4 weeks old. The mother cat, who we never did give a name to, is a VERY scared acting cat. It will act like it wants to be friendly and let you pet it UNTIL you get close to her then she jumps and runs off as fast as she possibly can. I've never touched her and she has been here for a while. So when the kittens were discovered, I expected them to be the same way. But I was pleasantly surprised, they LOVED the kids. All the kittens were a tan color except one. The "special" one was gray with some white stripes. This kitten was the most pleasant little kitten I had seen in a very long time and the girls, especially Elianna, absolutely adored it. Elianna called the kitten her baby, she cradled it, wrapped it in a blanket, was always carrying it around. She would put it in the doll stroller or the wagon and push it around. And the kitten acted like it LOVED it. I so wish I had taken pictures of the two of them together. As soon as that kitten would hear the girls come outside, here it would come running and meowing for them (most of the cats run when they see the kids coming, lol). Even when I would be babysitting and all the kids would be outside playing (I wouldn't let the kids play with the kittens) this kitten would not stay away, it just loved being by the kids ;D Well this morning, as we were leaving for church, I sent the girls out to get in the van while I gathered the rest of our stuff. We were running late so when I went out I hopped in and started backing up. When I turned around I realized I had ran over a kitten....THAT kitten....the special one....Elianna's baby. It must have followed the girls out when they went to the van. My heart just sank when I realized what I had done. At first I was aggravated at the kitten for being under the van. I didn't want to upset the girls so I just pulled out of the driveway. Well I didn't make it very far, 2 housed down the road and I started bawling my eyes out. By time I got to the stop sign I was crying so hard I had to just stop. I knew I had to tell the girls what was wrong. So stopped there at the stop sign, still bawling, I told them how sorry I was and what I had done. I don't think they truly understood, they didn't seem upset about it. Bethanie I think understands now after coming home and burying the kitten in the back yard. But Elianna, I know she doesn't fully understand. I had sent the girls in the house while I put the kitten in a little box and had a bag around it (there was blood and I didn't want them to see it). Elianna kept asking to see the kitten, at first I said no but then decided it was for the best. Elianna saw the bag and told Bethanie that I put the bag in there to keep the baby kitten "comfable". They seemed sad while we were burying it but other than that have been fine. No tears from them, me on the other hand fill up with tears every time I think about it. It was my fault, I should have been more careful.

We had already dealt with loosing some other kittens this past week. Another cat, who until the day it had kittens we thought was a boy, it never looked a bit pregnant at all, had 4 kittens. Two were born dead, the other 2 were REALLY small and died shortly after. My sister mentioned that they were probably premature. Well for me that opens a whole new can of worms for me...as nutty and crazy as this sounds I felt a strange connection with them because they were preemies. I was really sad that the two did not make it :( I guess being a preemie mom, I am just drawn to anything preemie.

Now I am just hoping that the rest of this week is a better week. Me and the girls are headed to Girl Scout Day camp, we are hoping for and expecting a fun filled week.

Happy Mother's Day!

2008-05-11T22:39:00.002-04:00

Late March of 2000, that was when I found out I was going to be a mommy for the first time. You could say that is when I BECAME a mother because as soon as I got those results of a positive pregnancy blood test, I loved my baby, I would have done anything and everything to protect my baby, I did everything I could to give my baby the best start in life. First after only a few weeks into the pregnancy I started spotting, I felt completely helpless, I had no control. Thankfully, my fears were not coming true, baby was fine. I only had an infection and some hormone levels were low, both were "fixable" with meds. I looked forward to getting huge, having people feel my rock hard belly, and seeing and feeling the babies kicks. I actually looked forward to getting heart burn, sleepless/uncomfortable nights, labor starting all on it's own, possibly even my water breaking at the most embarrassing time. I hoped for a completely natural birth, no pain meds were in my plans. I was more scared of the thought of a shot than I was of pushing a big ol' baby out a not so big hole. I dreamed of pushing her out and when the doctor lays her on my chest I would give her a kiss and tell her how much I loved her. I couldn't wait to feed her the mild that my body made for her. Yet, no matter what I dreamed of or hoped for, no matter what I did or could have done, my body failed me and my baby. At the very beginning of my second trimester, when I should have been getting over morning sickness and having more energy, instead my blood pressure started to rise. Over the next 13 weeks, I started BP meds and numerous times had to increase the dosage as my BP just kept rising. Then on Tuesday night, August 29th, after a weekend of headaches and another rise in BP med dosage, my back just would NOT stop hurting. Finally I went to the hospital, thinking I was just being a wimp, after all it's NORMAL to have back pain while pregnant, right? Only I wasn't normal. The doctor ended up keeping me for what he said would be a 24 hour observation. Before the 24 hours was even up, I got the bad news, I had Pre-eclampsia and needed to be sent to a hospital with an NICU. I don't remember there being any mention then of needing to deliver right away, the doctor had said "just in case the baby would have to be delivered early". Then when I got to the "big" hospital, they said I would be there till baby was born. I remember thinking, wow, 13 weeks in the hospital that's 1 1/2 hours from home, not what I had planned but anything for the safety of my baby. Well those 13 weeks I was looking at, turned out to be a mere 3 days! On September 3, 2000 Bethanie Ann was born by emergency c-section, 13 weeks before she was suppose to, weighing only 1 pound 12 ounces, while I slept and completely missed it all. It was almost 24 hours later before I got to see her for the first time and another 20 days before I would ever get to hold her in my arms. Besides there being a baby, NOTHING about the birth was what I had hoped or dreamed of.

As I thought about what I wanted to post about on this Mother's Day, I knew I wanted it to be about me becoming a mother yet no matter what thoughts ran through my head, PE was always part of the thoughts. At first that frustrated me immensely. Then I really thought about it. Yes, PE robbed me of all my dreams of pregnancy and giving birth BUT, PE also made me the mother I am today. If it wasn't for PE I would more than likely never have became a stay-at-home mom, I may have not realized how truly blessed I am to have 2 healthy children. I would have loved my children no matter what, but I probably would not have realized how special they truly are.

So to all of you mother's out there that PE robbed you of your dreams, to those of you that were robbed of getting to meet your child before their last breath, and even to all of you that did have your dream pregnancy and delivery...HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!!

My pampering and bed bug bites!

2008-05-10T10:43:00.003-04:00

My funny little Elianna calls all bug bites, bed bug bites, lol. A week or so ago she had some bug bites on her legs. She kept talking about them, saying they were boo boos but she didn't know how she got them. So I told her they were bug bites. She didn't know what to think of that, she talked about them for DAYS after, telling everyone that a bug bit her (almost like it was a mean dog biting her).

Then yesterday, Elianna and the other 2 little girls that I was babysitting were pampering me. The one little girl is obsessed, truthfully she is completely obsessed with playing doctor. I said something about my arm hurting and she said "me dockah (doctor), me make you feel better" lol. So she told me to lay down, and she kept rubbing my arm with a baby wipe, lol. She kept pointing out all my "boo boos" (most were moles or freckles, lol). Then Elianna and the other little girl joined in. They were rubbing my belly, by head, my face, my arms and legs, and one of them washed my hair all with baby wipes. This went on for at least 10 minutes. I felt like such a princess :) When Elianna was rubbing my legs, she noticed a bug bite and said "Mommy, you got a bed bug bite" I said " A bed bug????", "yea, see it" lol, it was a mosquito bite. The only place I can think that she ever even heard of bed bugs is off that cartoon Miss Spiders Sunny Patch Kids. Somehow she has gotten Bed Bugs and Mosquitoes confused! Even last night when we were outside when it was getting dark, she said "It getting dark, that's when the bed bugs come out and bite us." That's what I had told her about mosquitoes a couple weeks ago.

I remember about a year ago or so, when I tucked the girls into bed, I told them "Don't let the bed bugs bite" Big mistake and I haven't said it again, lol. They asked me a million questions about bed bugs and even after I answered all that I could, I could just tell that both of them were laying there REALLY thinking hard about those bed bugs that they needed to keep from biting them, lol.

Our fun weekend

2008-04-28T23:22:00.006-04:00

Wow, it's been almost 3 weeks since I last posted! Where has the time gone?!?! So this weekend was a fun one for me and the girls. Last week was BEAUTIFUL!!! Clean and sunny everyday with a couple of days being in the 80s even. I was LOVING it. Then when the weekend came it was suppose to rain the whole weekend. So Friday night I promised the girls that if it was nice out we would go to the school and let them ride their bikes after we got some stuff done around the house (like some of those mountains of dirty clothes that needed washed). It wasn't bad Saturday morning then as the morning went on it got a bit dreary out. So I made a change in plans and headed to the school then before it started raining. Well turned out it started raining on our way there. I was going to let them go ahead and ride in the rain since it was a light rain but when they got out of the van they complained it was too cold. So we loaded back up in the van, and before I even started it, the rain nearly stopped. So we got back out, lol. and that was the extent of the rain for the entire day :)

First the girls rode their bikes on the basketball courts of the playground and on the sidewalks near there. I found a jump rope lying on the playground so we had races, I was jumping rope they were riding their bikes. I sure got my exercise and it was fun. BTW, Bethanie has a big bike but one of the tires was flat, DH was at work, and I don't know how to use the air compressor (not to mention that I am scared of the thing, lol) so we took that little Dora bike for her instead, I think she actually had more fun on it than she would have her big bike.

Then they played on the play ground for a while. Elianna dried all the slides off, hence the wet butt in the picture, lol. We all three swang together, everytime I swing with them and go really high Elianna just acts like she can't stop laughing, it's so funny. I must look pretty funny swinging like a kid, lol.

Then we headed around to the front of the school and the girls rode their bikes down the incline on the parking lot. I think they went down and back up that little hill about 100 times! I took some short vidoes of them, I will have to try to load them later as it's getting to late tonight.

Here is a picture of the flags blowing in the wind as you can see it was a VERY over cast day. But it wasn't raining so it was still nice.

The girls eventually rode their bikes around the school building and they played on the little playground for a while.

Then we started getting really hungery. I figured we had been there for an hour and a half, 2 hours tops. Well when we got in the van, we had been there for... THREE hours!! No wonder we were getting so hungery it was after 2 in the afternoon. So we went home, had lunch, then I sat down and rested for a while. Then I went out and cut the grass while the girls were outside playing. When I got done we built a little fire using the sticks we had picked up under the trees in the front yard and we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. By time we were done with that it was pitch dark out so we went in, the girls took a quick shower and went to bed. We were all 3 exhausted but it was fun.

Then Sunday after church we went to eat at AppleBees with my mom and sister. Afterwards I took the girls to the park for a little while. We didn't stay long though because they both had to use the potty and of course we were at the one park that has no bathroom near by. So we headed home, Elianna fell asleep. After getting home she stayed asleep and I layed down and took a nap too, it felt so good.

So this morning I woke up to an extremely messy house with even bigger mountains of dirty clothes but you know what, I don't care because I really enjoyed my fun time with my girls!

More about THE idea

2008-04-09T09:41:00.002-04:00

First off thanks to all of you that left encouraging comments about me going back to school. It really helps!

You were probably wondering what happened to make me suddenly have the thought that I wanted to quit babysitting all together. I use to love babysitting and in many ways I still do. However I have had so many problems with Elianna lately, she is a screamer, when she doesn't get her way, she screams. She screams when any of the other kids take something from her or they have something she wants. A single day doesn't go by that she doesn't cry/scream at least a few times. I feel like I have been spending my days yelling at her all day. Then Friday I had a day of just her and my sister's 2 girls and the day was SO calm. Elianna and the 2 year old got along great. They may have faught a time or two, but nothing like the days with all the kids. Elianna was such a calm loving girl that day, I loved it. That got me thinking that maybe she needs more time with just me and her behavior would greatly improve (at least I am hoping).

Another thing, I love doing crafts and other fun things with the kids but it's been a while since I have been able to. My cousin's little boy (10 months) is VERY clingy and wants to be held ALOT and when he is down crawling around he puts EVERYTHING in his mouth. Oh and I forgot to mention, he seldom ever naps and when he does you never know if it's going to be for 10 minutes or for 2 hours. When I have managed to do crafts with them lately I haven't made it till they were done before he starts crying. That leads me to having to deal with him and take the attention off the kids doing the crafts. They take advantage of that and paint things they aren't suppose to, pour glue all over the place, tear up each others things, etc. I end up so stressed it's nuts. I end up yelling at the kids (which I hate doing) and that just takes all the fun out of the project.

And then there is the fighting, oh the fighting. I'm just going to leave it at saying that, I get so frustrated with how much these kids fight with each other.

Oh then there is also Bethanie. By time she gets home from school and the other kids all leave I have so much to do like getting her to do her homework, dinner, getting caught up from the day and getting ready for the next day, that I feel I never spend real TIME with her. Yes we are together, but it's just not how I want it to be.

So there you have the main reasons, there is other stuff to some of which involve the parents but I won't talk about that for now! As for the college idea-I have emailed my former advisor asking her where I need to start in going back. I mentioned it to my husband, he wasn't overly excited about the idea but he said he didn't have a problem with it. And I mentioned it to my sister and she was thrilled with the idea that she would get to stay home. I'll keep you posted on how things progress.

Can you keep a secret?

2008-04-08T10:02:00.002-04:00

You all, my faithful blog readers, will be the first I even mention this to. Last week I was looking forward to and getting excited about "trying out" babysitting the 3 kids 3 and under one day this week. Then this weekend, for whatever reason, the thought came to me that I want to quit babysitting all together for all kids except my sister's 2 girls. Then yesterday, after breaking up MANY a fights between the kids and the thought running through my head constantly, the thought came to me...I could go back to school! WHAT, that thought hadn't ran through my head since Bethanie was born so early 7 1/2 years ago. But honestly this would be the perfect time to do it! I am not sure what all I would have to do to get my degree but hopefully it wouldn't take more than 2 years. I "graduated" from college when I was about 4 months pregnant with Bethanie, I had one class I had to finish to actually get my degree. My plans were to complete it come fall quarter which started the first part of September that way I would have it all done and be ready to start my career when I was ready after Bethanie was born in late November (when she was due). Well come late August I started having problems in my pregnancy, and Bethanie was born September 3rd. We spent the next 3 months at the Ronald McDonald house while Bethanie was in the NICU. When she was ready to come home she still required O2, and was coming home on it, a pulse ox monitor, apnea monitor, and a few meds along with MANY doctor appointments. DH and I decided that I would stay home with her. I LOVED being a stay at home mom and decided that when Bethanie started school THEN I would finish college, get my degree, and start my career. Well the year came that I had signed Bethanie up to start pre-school and you guessed it, I found out I was pregnant with Elianna. So I never sent Bethanie to pre-school and I didn't go back either. When Elianna was 6 months old I started babysitting for my cousins little girl, then my sister had her first daughter and I started babysitting her, then a family friend needed a sitter for her 2 girls and I volunteered, then both my sister and my cousin had another baby each. Then I got the offer to watch 3 more kids and I like I said I was actually looking forward to it....then THE thought came into my head. I seriously have no idea why the thought even came to me, I hadn't been talking about it, I don't know anyone going to college right now, nothing.

So I am going to call and check into it this week. If I think it will work out I will call the mom of the 3 and tell her I can't start babysitting. My sister has always wanted to babysit out of her home so I am HOPING that she can quit work and stay home and keep all the kids I babysit for now along with Elianna when I need her to. I figure I will keep the kids I have now for the summer then when college starts early august, I will no longer be babysitting. Elianna will be old enough to go to preschool this fall but I was planning on not sending her till she was 4.

I guess for now I am just going to gather as much information about this as I can and do alot of praying for guidance. I'll keep you all posted.

Sping is blooming!!!

2008-04-03T14:21:00.002-04:00

FINALLY!!! YEA!!!!!!!

Moving up in the world!

2008-04-03T13:33:00.002-04:00

WOO HOO!! Yesterday the cable company came out and hooked up DSL for us, finally I can sit at the computer at night and not fall asleep while I am waiting for a site to load, lol, and yes that does really happen to me. We also got our phone service through the same company now as well and on Friday they are coming back out and hooking up cable TV. We are even having them hook it up in our bedroom. The best part-for all 3 services from the same company we will be paying about as much as we paid just for satelite service! So we will be saving around $130+ per month. How great is that?!?! Only bad part, is to do away with the satelite internet we have to break the 2 year contract we signed with them. We are only 6 months into it so we will have to pay $700 to cancell it. At first I thought we would be crazy to even go through with it but then I started figuring it up and from what we will be saving ( with just internet and phone) we would have the $700 taken care of in what we save in about 11 months, that would leave another 6-7 months of savings we can just pocket :) Now that we have decided to add the cable tv as well it will be even sooner and a much bigger savings, yippy!!

Since the high speed internet IS so much faster, hopefully I will be able to post on here more often :)

Tour of Lucasville Ohio

2008-03-27T10:43:00.003-04:00

I got this idea from Amy at In Her Shoes, Lori at House of tafka, and Jen at Against All Odds. Please keep in mind that I live in a very small town and it's just a given that if we really want to go anywhere we have to go to the "city" aka, the biggest nearby town that is 20 minutes away. So I'm going to try to go with just my town, I doubt I'll get to 10 though.

1. We could start off with lunch at Wendy's or Subway.

2. Then we could go to the Lucasville branch of the Portsmouth Public Library, it's pretty small but they do have kids programs and a nice kids section.

3. After that we could go shopping at the Family Dollar store or Dollar General, or maybe even Save-a-lots for some cheap groceries.

4. After all that excitement we could head back to my house and go for a hike in the woods or just a small walk to the creek so the kids can throw rocks into the water (truefully this provides hours of entertainment for my kids, lol)

5. I would say by this time we would have bored ourselves to the point of needing to eat again so we could head to Giovoni's, Spencer's, or Happy Days for some pizza or other dairy bar type foods.

6. Next we could go to one of the local schools and let the kids play on the play grounds.

7. If it's summer when you come, then we could head to the drive-in to watch 2 movies for the price of one, if the weather is good that is.

8. Next we could head to my grandma's house, she's a very sweet lady who I am sure you would all love. And I am sure she would feed you something while we were there.

9. If you come the first full week of August we could head to the county fair. There are a few rides, lots of farm animals, and lots of tastey food. Or if you happen to come one of the 3 weekends when Trade Days are going on we can head over to the fair grounds where they have a bunch of tables set up with a whole lot of junk to buy. They also always have lots of animals (farm and exotic) so it's kinda like visiting a nasty dirty zoo.

10. After all that fun we could go to the local post office (as long as it's before 4pm) where you could send a postcard back home saying "HELP, GET ME OUT OF HERE".

Woo Hoo, I made it to ten!!! As bad as it really sounds, I still love my town and have no desire to live anywhere else.

Easter Pictures!

2008-03-26T09:23:00.005-04:00

Coloring Easter Eggs

The gang getting ready for the traditional Egg hunt at my grandma's houseMe and my girls
Our family!
The gang at my Mother-in-laws

Elianna!My Cheesin' girls

Bethanie looking silly at her the egg she found

The next several pictures are pictures that I zoomed in on Elianna so you can see the many faces of Elianna on Easter. She looked SO pretty on Easter yet look at all these silly faces. She just wouldn't cooperate so I could get a good picture.

And one final picture, My sister went back to work on Monday so I am babysitting her 2 girls I just had to show off the babies chubby cheeks!! Isn't she a cutie? She's 6 weeks old already, hard to believe!

I've been tagged...

2008-03-24T21:21:00.001-04:00

By Lori at House of tafka

This is new to me seeing as how I have only been blogging for less than a month now :)

The rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Be sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.

Here goes:

1. I am pretty much a slob! I am terrible, horrible, no good, very bad at keeping my house cleaned up. I try but it gets out of control SO fast and alot of times it really makes me feel defeated.

2. I am afraid to fly in an airplane. I KNOW if I ever get on a plane, I will die. I have had nightmares about being in an airplane before and woke up in a cold sweat and screaming. However I have always wanted to ride in a helicopter and a hot air balloon.

3. I pick my nose, sorry but I do! I do it in private and wash my hands afterwards but I just can't help it, It drives me crazy to have boogies up there (and I have ALOT) and a tissue just doesn't do the job good enough.

4. I thought for sure I was going to die more than once as a child. The first time was because I touched an outlet in Kindergarten and it shocked me, I thought for sure I would die, I just patiently waited for it to happen without telling anyone, lol. (Heather reminded me of this in her meme about being delighted that she didn't die in the night)

5. I use to think I had cancer as a child because my hair fell out so much. I use to always tell my mom about my hair yet she didn't ever seem concerned, I thought eventually I would just die of from it since she wouldn't take me to the doctor.

6. I went to college and graduated! I was pregnant with Bethanie on my last quarter there. I had one class that I had to finish within 6 months of graduating in order to actually get my degree. It was Senior Project and I was required to write a thesis on something to do with Math that had to be at least 20 pages long. I was completely clueless so I put it off all summer, then when I was going to get started was when my problems started in my pregnancy and Bethanie was born 3 months early. After she came along and then got to come home, the paper was the farthest thing from my mind. Here it is almost 8 years later and I have still yet to check into what I need to do now that they completely changed the program. I am really scared they will tell me I will just have to start over! It took me over 6 years to get through it the first time WITHOUT kids (but working full time). Maybe someday (like when Elianna starts school) I'll go back.

Now I will tag...Sabrina at PE mommy, Jen at Alpha Girls, and Betsy at Belphia Sorry ladies if you have already been tagged!!

Our first ever camp-out!

2008-03-16T22:09:00.002-04:00

I don't think I have mentioned it here before but I am a girl scout leader for Bethanie's troop. We have 15 (and 1 more wanting to join) first grade girls in our troop. This weekend we went on our first ever camp-out, it was indoors (thank goodness since it poured the rain) but still ALOT of fun!!! On Friday I went to pick Bethanie up at school and also picked up 2 of the other girl scouts. And we started on our journey. First just sitting in the drivers seat listening to them in the back was hilarious!!!! Some of the things they said and did cracked me up!! We headed to my sister's first to drop Elianna off, my mom was coming there to pick her up to keep her over night. The girls didn't want to stay in the van, so they all headed into my sisters house. Little did I know, my sister had just gotten out of the shower and didn't have the bathroom door closed so she could keep an eye on her almost 2 year old, lol, oooppps!! The girls are in my care for less than an hour and they have already been flashed, lol, by a breastfeeding, 5 weeks post partum big mama. Then we leave there and head to the convenient store down the street to pick up some snacks. I let the girls pick out what ever they wanted and I spent over $20!!! Then we headed on our way to the old school where the camp-out was to take place. On the way the girls were picking out all the "creepy" houses they could find, lol. It was so funny hearing them..."creepy, creepy, ooohhh WAY creepy" lol.

When we arrive the old school is obviously VERY old, the one girl says as soon as we pull in..."Sarah! What are you thinking bringing us to this creepy old school?" We get signed in and carry all out stuff in. After we meet up with the other 5 girls and the other leader from our troop the girls get warmed up with some little activities then we have dinner-taco in a bag, which most of the girls thought was "totally gross". Then they went to different stations, they learned about Mexico and how to play a new game similar to checkers called Coyote and chickens. They made castanets (out of big buttons) and a flower at the craft station. Then we went to the dance station...Oh my, we had so much fun at this one. I can honestly say I made a complete fool out of my self by showing everyone how UN-coordinated I truly am, lol. We learned to do 3 different line dances. My co-leader and myself were the only adults to take part but we had a lot of fun...other than the fact that the one mom that stayed RECORDED us, ahhhhhh.

Then we found out that we were suppose to bring stuff for a fashion show, somehow neither my co leader or myself read that part of the flyer. The girls were a bit disappointed that they were not going to get to participate....that is until we found out someone had brought a whole tub of extra dress-up stuff. The girls had so much fun! Bethanie and a couple of the other girls didn't dress up but they still had a ton of fun watching all the other girls "modeling". After that they served S'mores, omg, my girls were SOOOOO excited. (one of the girls on our way there told me she wanted to make s'mores and I told her we probably wouldn't because we wouldn't be able to have a fire, when I told her they were serving them she said "SEE Sarah, I told you", lol.)

It was now time to get ready for bed and get out sleeping bags out. That's when I realized I had forgotten my pillow!!! I was going to be sleeping on the HARD floor with only a sleeping bag and NO pillow. After a while, Bethanie was a sweety, rolled up the top of her sleeping bag for a pillow and let me have her little round one she brought. So even though I still wasn't comfortable, I did at least have a pillow (even if it did keep rolling out from under my head, lol). The girls took a LONG time to get settled down and to go to sleep. The little girl who was laying beside me decided she wanted to sleep with me in my sleeping bag!! I kept telling her she couldn't get in but just kept insisting so finally I unzipped the sleeping bag and layed it out so she could be beside me. We ended up switching places so I could be on the outside. That girl absolutely wollered me to death until finally she layed down, pulled her sleeping bag over her head and she was out! Once they calmed down and layed still all the girls went to sleep fairly easily. We had no problems what so ever! Even having 2 who had never stayed away from home!! I didn't sleep real well, especially when one of the teenage girls from another troop, who had started out 6-8 foot away, rolled over and was laying right up against me!! But I could move!!!! I was really afraid that laying on that HARD floor all night I wouldn't be able to move at all the next day, but other than my hip feeling like it was bruised, I felt pretty good!

In the morning, we had breakfast, did another craft (a taco pin), busted some pinatas, learned a few new active games, and practiced the line dances that we had learned the night before. Then we loaded up and headed home. I was exhausted, but can't wait for the next one. The girls AND myself had a great time!!

Face Lift!!!

2008-03-16T21:58:00.002-04:00

Well, it's been almost a week and I haven't had a chance till now to give a shout out to Chels for making my new template here! I absolutely love it, it couldn't have been more perfect!!!! Thank You, Thank You, Thank You!!!!!!!! Sometimes after a long day (when I am tired I tend to ramble on and on and on and on, so I usually just skip it those nights to spare you the pain of reading my ramblings)and don't write a new post but still make my blogging rounds to check in on everyone else, I pop in here just to see my page again, lol, I still get a huge smile on my face everytime it pops up, I just love it that much :) Thanks again Chels!!!!

Letting Go...

2008-03-11T09:28:00.002-04:00

I just read what another mother wrote the other day "I have realized that parenting is just constantly having to learn to let go, little by little". At first I though "Whatever". Then the more I really thought about it, that is SO true! First as a mother you cary the baby in your womb, no one else can hold, feel, or feed the baby. Then you give birth. You have to "let go" of having that baby inside, doctors and nurses, the father, other realtives, and friends all get to hold the baby, maybe even feed her. Eventually you have to leave the baby in the care of someone else. Then the baby learns to sit, then crawl, then walk and suddenly they don't need you as much, you again have to let go, you are forced to no longer have complete control of protecting you child, after all babies DO fall quite a bit and you can never be right there every second. Up to this point "letting go" is not real hard. But then...they start school, gasp. Bethanie starting school was really hard for me. I had been home with her since she left the NICU, and other than family and one very close friend who would watch her from time to time, she was ALWAYS with me. Then she started school, for 7 hours 5 days a week I had no control over what she was doing, who she was doing it with, what she was eating, so many things were out of my control, even her safety. I LOVED her teacher and have all 3 years she has been in school. I quickly learned that I could trust the school, they had Bethanie and all the other kids' best interest in mind. I felt they would do what ever they could to keep her safe and still give her a good education. I thought I was for the most part past having to "let go" for a while.

That leads us up to today. Today Bethanie will be riding the bus home from school. I am not sure why I am so overly nervous about it but I REALLY am. After all I rode the bus from the time I was in kindergarten till I graduated from high school and I only remember 2 bad things happening in all those years. 1. a boy lit a cigerette on the bus and smoked it, he didn't try to get anyone else to join him or anything but since we all saw him do it and not tell on him, we all got lectured. 2. I saw a friend's dog get run over right in front of us by another bus. My friend saw it too, it was very tramatic as a child. And those are the only 2 things I can think of happening while on the bus in the 13 years I rode. I can actually remember many more fun times on the bus than bad times. That doesn't help though.

I know, in part, my worry has to do with how quiet and shy Bethanie is. I worry that if they pass our house, she won't say anything. I also worry about the other kids on the bus. A bus driver has to keep her eyes on the road, she cannot possibly know everything that goes on on the bus. I guess most of my worry is simply having to "let go", giving someone that I do not know much about at all, the controll of my baby girl, my former teeny tiny little preemie baby girl.

Letting them grow up is SOOO hard, yet we really don't have any way of keeping them from it, do we? Once I get past this, which I hope goes very smoothly, then we will move on to the even more difficult things such as letting them spend the night with friends and (oh dear God help me) DRIVE, ahhhhh.

Oh SPRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGGG, where are you???

2008-03-08T22:44:00.002-05:00

Here it is, the start of the second week of March and we have more snow on the ground now than we have had all winter. There is at least 5 inches out there and before the snow fell, we got ice, so to say it's slick out is an understatement. And to think that on Monday we had a 70 degree BEAUTIFUL day where we were out side all day until after 7 pm. We even ate dinner outside. I just can't wait for spring to get here!! Warm weather, staying outside all day without a coat, seeing flowers bloom, letting the kids be as loud as they want to be, and them being able to jump, run, bounce, get all their energy out, oh, spring, I long for you, it is my most favorite time of the entire year.

The only good thing about this snow...Church is canceled for tomorrow so we don't have to get up early. We don't have to loose that hour of sleep from springing forward for Day Light Savings Time.

Tomorrow, me and the girls are going to do something fun. I am not sure what yet, but I felt like such a grouch today. I even made Elianna go to bed early. She has become quite defient lately. She really knows how to push my buttons. For what ever reason, today, after getting after her a million times, the thought crossed my mind of what she is going to be like as a teenager. AHHHHH, I dread those days already! From the way the girls are now, I can see Bethanie being the good girl still. She, hopefully, will be like me and be too big of a chicken to do any bad stuff. I always thought of the concencoinces for anything I did. I can proudly say, as a teenager, I was a good girl, you can even ask my mom, she would say the same thing. Elianna on the other hand, oh my, I don't even want to think about it. I can see me and her going around and around, I can see her not obeying the rules, I can see her trying to sneak out, giving in to peer pressure. In other words, more like my sister, lol. I can totally see myself with a head full of grays by time she's 18 (if it's not already that way by time she is 5, lol). For me, just the thought of being a mom of teenagers is extremely scary. Well that is not what I meant for this post to be about. But it does remind me that I need to enjoy these young days while they are still here. I already promised the girls we would go out to play in the snow tomorrow, I'll just have to come up with something else fun for us to do together.

I keep falling asleep as I am writing this so I am off to bed. Good night and sweet dreams :D

Do you like green eggs and ham?

2008-03-07T22:23:00.010-05:00

My princesses love them, Sam I am. This is what I made for dinner for the girls on Wednesday night, they LOVED them, especially Elianna, I accidently made way too much for just the 2 of them, using 6 eggs total. I went ahead and put it all on their plates and Elianna ate ALL of hers, lol, and then asked for them for lunch the next day too.

Also on Wednesday, Bethanie lost a tooth! Her top front tooth. Here is her mouth preparing for her new adult tooth over the past few months. Here she is in September (doesn't she have a silly look on her face, lol) notice there is no space between her teeth hardly at all other than at the bottom where she had just lost her 2 bottom teeth.

Here she is in October, just barely getting a space between her top front left tooth and the one beside it.

Here she is in November, you can definitly see the space now

Here is December, it's getting bigger

Now here is January

Here is mid February, by this time people were asking if she had lost a tooth because the space was so big.

And finally late february, in this pic you tell the tooth had changed color. The dentist told me that was because the root had probably already disconected.

Her new tooth was simply pushing that baby tooth right out of the way. Last week it had pushed her tooth up in the gums some so when you would look at her straight on you could see the bottom of her tooth instead of the front like you normally would. However, you could hardly wiggle the tooth at all because of the new one coming in behind it. Finally she let me pull it! When she felt it come out she jerked her head back, the tooth slipped out of my hand and went down in the chair I was sitting in. I have looked and looked for that tooth but I simply cannot find it :( The tooth fairy did still come, though. Left her $1 and a note telling her if the tooth was ever found, she would be back to pick it up, lol. When the tooth came out it left a huge, bloody looking hole in her gums but thankfully it was gone by the next day. You could also already see her new tooth coming in.

As for the new babysitting job I mentioned in my last post, it is off for now. I called to tell the mom that I would try it for 3 weeks and she said her DH had decided to not take the job because they agreed it was to dangerous. He would have been working 700 feet underground. But she said other work should be picking up soon and she would call when he found something. In a way i was relieved but in another I was a bit disappointed.

Well I am off to bed now, good night and sweet dreams :) hope you all enjoy your Saturday!

Ahhhh, he sleeps

2008-03-05T11:33:00.002-05:00

Shhhh!!! PLEASE do not wake him! The baby boy, 9 months, I babysit for is taking a nap for the first time this week!! The last 2 days have been quite trying with him. He is obviously not getting enough sleep, his mom told me he won't go to sleep at night until around 10pm, is back up when she gets up at 6am and other than a couple VERY short naps (I'm talking 5-10 minutes about 2-3 times a day usually on car rides to and from my house and maybe one other time throughout the entire day) does not sleep through the day. And then I wonder why he cries everytime I set him down. So today I decided I was going to try really hard to get him to take a good nap, so far he has been asleep for 1 hour, WOOHOO!!!! Now if I can get my littlest princess and the babies big sister to NOT wake him up with their continuous fighting, I will be very happy.

Now as he sleeps what am I doing? Thinking! Thinking hard if I really want to take on the offer I was presented yesterday. The offer-to babysit 3 other children, 2 boys ages 3 and 2, and another baby girl almost 11 months. AHHHH, what am I thinking! Actually what I am thinking is if I take them I'll get alot more money coming in. I can put that money into a savings account and hopefully in less than a year I will have enough to build on the addition I am so badly wanting to add to our house. A "day care" space, I have it all pictured. A fairly big, open room with little tables for them to eat at in one corner, lots of open space to play, a closet/cabinet with all the art and craft supplies, lots of shelves for all the toys, a reading/nap corner. Even a little TV for cartoons or eduactional shows to watch during quiet time. This room will help tremenduously on keeping my house tidier, no toys strung all through the house, the perfect place to confine all the kids so they are not destroying everything in my house. And then if I quit babysitting after the room is completed, I can use it as a play room for my girls or a family room for the whole family. Now if only I can keep my sanity while working toward that goal.

Hear Ye, Hear Ye, the Queen doth proclaim....

2008-03-03T23:34:00.002-05:00

I started a blog!! OMG, I feel so up-to-date, lol. Of course I have already had problems, I wrote an entry, posted it, saw it ON THE BLOG, went to add another short one (the Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss one) and somehow made the first one disappear! And I can't for the life of me figure out what happened to it :/

Some explaining... As you have noticed on this blog I call myself the queen. Am I a queen? Heck No! Am I treated like a queen? HA, lol, NO! Do i dress like a queen? That's funny, another no. Do I even remotely resemble anything like a queen? hum, I'm afraid that would have to be another big fat NO! lol. So Why the name you are probably wondering, right? Well, I was trying to come up with a cutesy name and since my girls like anything to do with princesses, I declared myself the queen :) In reality I'm a big country girl who seldom wears make-up, sweats and a comfy t-shirt are my attire of choice, and I detest any shoe with a heel. And as for my girls, yes, they love princesses, dressing up, and anything fancy BUT they also like to play with cars and LOVE to go barefoot and play in the mud!

So now that I have spent all this time creating the blog, and re-doing my first post, I am too tired for a meaningful post so this will have to do for tonight.

Good Night and Sweet Dreams to all!

2008-03-03T23:16:00.002-05:00

I nearly forgot....Happy Birthday Dr. Seuss!!! Thanks for all the wonderfully fun books you gave us to enjoy as kids and now again as parents :) BTW, Dr. Seuss is my all time favorite author!! I think we will have green eggs and ham for breakfast tomorrow since I forgot today.